Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi Yall
Not long ago I posted about making new malefriends. My lesson Not possible (for me) to make new friends of the opposite sex when newly divorced!
To many feelings
To vulnerable
To easy to become attached
To easy to become distracted from whats important
To easy to get hurt
To easy to hurt others
Over the last few months I have experienced all of this I met a man at a dinner party in December. He was nice, and we talked along with everyone else at the party. He emailed me later and basically asked me on a date. I emailed back to say I wasnt ready for that. He said, friends only. I thought about it and talked it over with friends and thought, okay why not. So we went on a few friend dates, texted and talked on the phone. It quickly evolved into us talking everyday. I realize now that I was using the relationship as a crutch to avoid my loneliness. On our last "friend" date "date we finally kissed.. and omg it was so great. I was floored, as I had never experienced such a great kiss. Next day I was MYspace stalked by his ex girlfriend She wanted to make sure I knew everything about him and then she basically said she still loved himect.. Oh my, I am so not ready for all this. I have enough drama in my life with my x and my kiddos.. I called him that night to say sorry we cant be friends or anything else for that matter as I am just not ready for this. I am taking the DS advice and will be alone for at least another 6 months. I really need to get to know myself and be the best mom I can for my kids. Becoming involved in a relationship with another person is just a bad idea. Ending the friendship was painful for both of us, but he understood. I feel bad for hurting myself and him in this process. Boy, this sure is hard.
Everything in life happens for a reason . Thats what I always tell myself!
This was a good kick in the butt for me. I am looking forward to this journey of finding myself. When I am ready for a new relationship its going to be a beautiful thing! Hugs to all my fellow DSers. Thanks for being there!
Not long ago I posted about making new malefriends. My lesson Not possible (for me) to make new friends of the opposite sex when newly divorced!
To many feelings
To vulnerable
To easy to become attached
To easy to become distracted from whats important
To easy to get hurt
To easy to hurt others
Over the last few months I have experienced all of this I met a man at a dinner party in December. He was nice, and we talked along with everyone else at the party. He emailed me later and basically asked me on a date. I emailed back to say I wasnt ready for that. He said, friends only. I thought about it and talked it over with friends and thought, okay why not. So we went on a few friend dates, texted and talked on the phone. It quickly evolved into us talking everyday. I realize now that I was using the relationship as a crutch to avoid my loneliness. On our last "friend" date "date we finally kissed.. and omg it was so great. I was floored, as I had never experienced such a great kiss. Next day I was MYspace stalked by his ex girlfriend She wanted to make sure I knew everything about him and then she basically said she still loved himect.. Oh my, I am so not ready for all this. I have enough drama in my life with my x and my kiddos.. I called him that night to say sorry we cant be friends or anything else for that matter as I am just not ready for this. I am taking the DS advice and will be alone for at least another 6 months. I really need to get to know myself and be the best mom I can for my kids. Becoming involved in a relationship with another person is just a bad idea. Ending the friendship was painful for both of us, but he understood. I feel bad for hurting myself and him in this process. Boy, this sure is hard.
Everything in life happens for a reason . Thats what I always tell myself!
This was a good kick in the butt for me. I am looking forward to this journey of finding myself. When I am ready for a new relationship its going to be a beautiful thing! Hugs to all my fellow DSers. Thanks for being there!
BTW...I have female friends...and it is just that friends.....
Thanks PGamble...appreciated .and I applaud you as well.
Chard...Still think he would have been okay with friends not sure...it just crossed the line for me. I crossed the line from friends to...well whatever it was. I was too vulnerable and needy which is so unlike my character! So I will just steer clear of men till I am NOT NEEDY! I don't need a hero, I want to be my own hero. -i think... LOL
Good luck with your x, I hope that he gets the help you suggest and that you are able to reconcile. Hugs to you.
I think I can.... I think I can....
We have all read that book haven't we... LOL
I believe it is possible to be friends with men and NOT have that sexual tension. For some reason - most of my BEST friends have always been guys. I'm into football, nascar, baseball, and other guy type activities. This must be why God gave me 3 sons instead of 3 daughters.
It would be great if you were able to be "friends" with this person and NOT have the drama. You sound like a mature woman who understands the importance of getting things in order BEFORE you get involved with someone else. That is a very wise move and you will be rewarded for it.
No way I can be friends with this person. I am strong... but not that strong. I realize I just have to remove the temptations from my envoiorment so that I can stay focused and on track. The wisdom of DS is helping me find my way through this maze.
Courier- Congrats on making it one year! Again I have to say that gives me hope that I can be strong and find my way too!
JacJac... Oh does it suck to let go!!!!! We decide when we are weak and when we are strong, right? We can all be strong and find our way together! Something near perfect is out there for all of us someday.... We just have to go through our own journey before we get there. Everything happens for a reason, and we decide were we go from there. Good luck to you friend! Update me on your journey okay!
Initially it was me identifying myself with everything bad my ex husband said about me. This was how I saw myself..So, what I did was like taking shit and shining it up nice and pretty and trying to sell it to some other man as gold. You walk on eggshells hoping they don't get so close that they find out it's really shit. Or you want them to validate for you that it's not shit....it's fertalizer! Fertalizer is good and helps the plants and grass grow. Fertalizer is usefull..
Tough position to be in and I don't wish it on anyone.
You're a smart lady who knows exactly what your doing. Your journey has taken you on this path and I think you will be the better for it.
Thank you for sharing JacJac, we will all keep feeding our fertalizer! :)
yes i agree that you need to be able to be alone and not lonely(big difference) but to be so absolute on your time to be alone i think is maybe something you need to rethink.
thats just my view, but what do i know?
PMPDRVR- I say a year because its already been 5 months since the separation and (2mths since divorce). In 6 more months....well then I will have been on my own for almost a year. (I'm not really alone as I have two kiddos keeping me company) Maybe the timeframe gives me some hope that I am halfway to feeling like a normal, confident, strong and organized person again. Regardless of the timing, I will know when I feel those things. Honestly I am not stuck on the number of days, months and hours it takes me to get there. I would love to be truly happy this very minute.... :) You know I have never been "alone" in my life. I went from living with parents as a child to living with m x and having kids... hmmm I guess it was time since well I keep sayin everythin happens for a reason... :) Thanks for your comments!