Too much is going on!!
I am scared to ask how Gram is doing. Her results of her chemo saying if the treatments worked came back on Monday. I …
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Cory's basically gone silent. I guess it's over. I am not really devistated just.... disappointed?
My grandfather (the one who hurt me) is in the hospital, something about his electrolytes and his kidneys. But, he's gonna live. GRRRR I'm sorry, I just want the bastard to bloody DIE! My uncle (my favorite uncle before all this happened) told my mom that before IT dies that she should tell him that she believes him. :'( that hurts. My mom said she would never tell IT that she believes him because she is unsure of WHO to believe, IT or me. I am SO upset that she continues not to believe me. My uncle also is trying to presuade my siblings into talking to IT and my grandmother again. It's my SIBLINGS decision whether or not to talk to IT and Biz, not Jimmy's. GRRR.
I admit I have been considering suicide lately, that my friend Glenn had to call my parents and tell them about the two bottles of sleeping pills I bought and intended to take to kill myself. So, the r*pe that is going on a month ago continues to haunt me. I was with my friend Trish and we were watching TV and they said something about r*pe and I freaked and left the room.
Also, and I will probably post a discussion board about this: Does it bother other people that the word r*pe gets tossed around like nothing? Trish used it like it was nothing and so did her fiance. Trish said to her friend Carlie "Yeah, when you didn't answer your phone I thought you were being ass r*ped." then they laughed. Kyle (her fiance) said "When we were in Italy we played poker and were just totally r*ped by another player." I wanted to CRY! Am I hyper-sensitive or does this bother other people too?
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Tony will NOT talk to me. I'm over it, it's OK. He's not worth it if he won't talk to me knowing from …
Having nightmares. Too tired to …
Having nightmares. Too tired to write about that. I have to tell my siblings this weekend that IT r*ped me. I am scared.
you're not being hyper-sensitive. that shit bothers me too. and about being believed, that sucks! I read a good book on rape that told the story of this lady whose rapist was acquitted and people questioned her story. afterwards she goes, "I believe me, and that's all that matters."
reach out if you need us... don't do anything to hurt yourself doll. hugs!
besidesthat
your coping really well. I feel suicidal too. They say you can get over abuse but its very hard it effects everything.
hugs
janexx
jane1960
I understand your upset your mom doesn't believe you-or seems not to, but just try not to see it that way just like she won't say she DOES believe her father because she is unsure she is just having a hard time thinking that it may be true-I mean deep down she could very well believe that it is true but remember how long it took you to comes to term with it? For years you crammed it down deep inside and tried to convince yourself it didn't happen-or just wondered and remained unsure-it's the same with her. About people throwing the word around, you're not being hyper-sensitive, I mean obviously the people who use it like that don't mean to be disrespectful or insulting or insensitive but they're just not thinking-you know? Which isn't an excuse by any means-I still think it's not good
cadnoarian
Ooh Iz your not being over sensitive not in the least. I'm back online so if you need me i'm here okay. Sorry it took me so long to get online.
Rowan
well IIII think cory's a jerk face.
BandRebel