RhondaSonShine's Journal

HAPPY 2008!!!  Wow, that's weird looking.  Hey, I just remembered -- '8' is my favorite number so maybe this is going to be an exceptional year.  Think positive, Rhonda, boy would that be a change!

Couldn't sleep so I've been up since 3:30 am changing my avatars.  I'm foregoing the name change because, it is, after all, my favorite bible verse.  Philippians 3:13b & 14 ... "Forgetting what is behind (my past) and straining toward what is ahead (the future), I press on (the present) toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."   That's me in a nutshell.  3/14 is also my youngest's birthday (Mar 14) so the name stays.  The look may change now and then, but not the name.  Oh, what a relief!  (to you, too, Darla, although I appreciate all the effort you put into a new name for me.)

I've already started the New Year out badly.  Had two cups of REAL coffee this morning.  I'll be buzzing until noon now and will crash and burn shortly after that.  I hope my husband doesn't have anything planned for us to do this afternoon because I'll be spending mine in bed.

I'm scheduled for a sleep study this Fri, Jan 4.  I know I'll sleep like a rock through it.  I always do away from home.  Which makes me think this is all in my head.  Very possibly may be.  I have a pretty powerful mind and haven't dismissed the idea that I 'will' this condition on myself.  Case in point:  in 1986 I had my wisdom teeth extracted.  I swear the oral surgeon must have given me a double dose of anesthesia because I had trouble even lifting my legs to walk.  Felt like I was in physical therapy just to get to the car.  Thank God my mother was with me!  A few years ago my own daughter had her wisdom teeth extracted.  This time, SHE had the anesthesia, not me.  She struggled with walking as I had done.  Now get this -- as we were riding down the elevator to the parking lot -- BANG! -- all of a sudden the elevator started spinning, my mouth started throbbing and I was down on my knees.  I experienced the same pain and trauma from my own surgery years before.  We both CRAWLED out of the elevator, out the front door and ended up lying on the sidewalk together.  Thank God for cell phones!  I called my husband, Gary, and he had to pick us up.  Isn't the mind an incredible thing?  Of course it is.  God made it.  Duh.  Anyway, sometimes I think my mind is coping with a stressful past (dysfunctional family) and present (dysfunctional family) by conjuring up all of the symptoms I have.  Makes sense.  None of the billions of tests and bloodwork show much.  Yet here I am, with debilitating fatigue, insomnia and an assortment of other symptoms.  What I probably need is MAJOR therapy.  Unfortunately, I don't have the major bucks to pay for it.

Ahhh ... that was a relief.  Even if it didn't help you, it did me!  Gotta go get some more Java now ... later!