lorrieonline's Journal

Well today I felt utterly useless.   Passed up going to the hospital with someone in an ambulance because I was afraid my legs wouldn't support me well enough at the hospital.  Someone else went behind the ambulance and that part worked out ok.  In the interim I was a wreck tho after he left - I felt like such a worthless human being.  Makes me very angry that I have to worry about not being able to just do things like that without worrying I can't make it. 

Then I feel guilty too.  I can go out and dance a bit but I can't walk or stand for too long?  Would it be worse if I didn't or is it worse because I do?  I love to sing and dance.  If I had no creative outlets, I would cease to exist and I guess it wouldn't much matter whether I could walk or not.

Well, between the detox diets and the gluten-free diets, I think I will try to see if something can help me.  I'm trying to count my blessings right now instead of my malfunctions - I want to publish my writing, make a musical CD for my family to have, and the community needs help - our seniors and those that require assisted living need more attention and I'm trying to think what I can do to be a catalyst for better conscieousness about all of this.  

I'm thankful for everyone in my life who reminds me that this is still a cool place and there are lots of cool interests to behold and awesome people to experience.