lorrieonline's Journal

Still sometimes I feel angry that this had to take up residence in my life.  Find myself angry that I can't walk as well or fast as others, can't urinate as effectively, watch people take life for granted, walking for granted, people for granted too. 

All the interests and projects - well, they're all good but... probably an excuse for me to keep from doing something more significant with my life.  Do I want to let MS predict that I just shouldn't try things just because I may end up needing mobility assistance, or just because it could be difficult?  I've been planning on letting MS rob me of my future and didn't really see it until just recently! 

Having this disease makes it imperative to realize that we have to go after what we want TODAY.  Getting started will open the doors, and they will fall like dominos once we get going.  I tell that to friends who try various things and have now heard it for myself. 

Once again, I am going to dust myself off and go back to school in the evenings.  All the time and money I waste or have wasted hasen't gotten me further along in my life.  Friends need friends but I haven't really accomplished anything for them by just hanging out and wasting a lot of time anyway.  Singing karaoke is not about to make me a star, lol - it's just fun which can be done a lot less frequently.  Friends would probably go back to school or do something else more important with their lives too.  Could be that God will use me as a catalyst in a way with their lives too.  

Having the doc show me where the lesions on my spine are - in the MRI picture I had taken last year, refreshed my memory that I walk funny for a reason - I can't stay in denial if I look at these pictures, lol.  A second Neuro had ordered that one and I had never brought those films for my regular guy.  We just looked at them last week.   Guess it's a good reminder that we take our meds if we can get 'em and try to keep this nasty thing at bay.