Keavah's Journal

ok, so i have been at my gp 3 times this week....MONDAY: Teigan has a really bad cough, keeping her up at nights, the nurse I saw said theres nowt wrong wiv her! TUESDAY: The 'lump' under my arm has been hanging around for nearly 7 weeks....antibiotics are not helping. Now I am going to get a minor op , n tuesdayso he (doc) can try and cut the infection out, if that doesnt work I have to go to hospital to have the whole thing cut off. Then he told me I will have to see another doc about Zoladex, as she specialises in gynae. WEDNESDAY: So called expet GP didnt have a clue, coz apparently Zoladex stops periods (oh, Ive heard this sooooo many times for sooooooo many meds....and I still have periods!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF is wrong with me??????), so she phoned gyane doc at hosp for an 'urgent appt'....next thurs! And then after discussing with him, gave me fluoxetine, diclofenac and lactulose....because I am still not 100% sure of tramadol.....Where do I go from here? I havent got a clue....ok so a hysterectomy is extreme, but its my body, my life, my hell......I love my kids, but I want hem to grow up 'normal' not having to worry if mummy is hurting, or poorly, or sad.....on the way back from nursery the other day my 3 year old son said 'when we get home can I have the make it better box (first aid!) mummy?' I asked him why, 'so I can put a plaster on your  poorly tummy, and then we can play in the park'.... wanted to cry. And I really should try and write my journals more, as it always seems to be rushed, and I never get time to finish like now....it's 9:30 and I'm drained,I really should be in bed, but I know I wont be able to get to sleep......