OpheliaRising's Journal

"If you must begin then go all the way, because if you begin and quit, the unfinished business you have left behind begins to haunt you all the time."
– Chogyam Trungpa

*sighs*

I am sitting here enjoying a cool glass of iced green tea and generally being quiet. I have some positive yet soothing music on and I am taking a moment to say hello to my Grammie- where ever she may be.

Today would be a month since her passing. I can’t help but miss her as she was someone so very important to me. Last night I lay awake in bed while my husband snored away next to me thinking a million thoughts at once that I could hardly sort. Part of me got so excited because I knew when I woke up on Saturday it would be the day I call Grammie. Before I could put out the excitement I wondered to myself, “I need to ask Grammie where she was when JFK was assassinated.” Then I paused and realized. No phone call, no answer to my question. Only silence. Regret I didn’t think to ask her that before.

My mind started to reel of all the things I wish I would have asked her beyond all the stuff I got her to speak about with me. Like for her to tell me about the day I was born, what her wedding was like etc. Why did I forget to ask these things?

It is such a beautiful day here. I wonder if it’s beautiful where she is at. I bet she is happy surrounded by family, friends and everyone who ever loved her. Where ever she is at…I hope she can feel how much I love her, how I am so happy she is free from this life and going to a new adventure, I just hope remembers me…

Enough of that…

Several days ago I got a package in the mail from a friend. They had sent me two beautifully hand stitched simple handkerchiefs with pink flowers on them that sort of reminded me of cherry blossoms. They were wrapped in beautiful light blue tissue paper with a beautiful dark blue bow and a hand written letter from the woman that stitched them herself. I was tickled to pieces! It was just a random gift from my friend who said she saw them and thought of me.

I thought that was so sweet. When speaking with my friend she was like “Gosh you would think I gave you the world!” and I said, “you did!” I guess I am that simple.

Things have been quiet here. I have been working in my anxiety work book and came to a stop when I got confused. Husband said he would look over it and assist me which is very nice. At first he was reading behind me but had to stop as he wished to read past me and finish the book. He didn’t, however, because he said he wanted me to work in the workbook instead of him gaining knowledge and subconsciously pressing it on me when I am not ready to understand it. I can understand that entirely. My Husband is the type that can read a book from cover to cover in two seconds and then go apply what he learned instantly. I can see him trying to give me the tools he learned in the book and me not understanding the entire process. So it’s good this way!

Ok it’s off with me!

I hope everyone is well!

~Bright Blessings~
Rea