I have been having a problem with …
I have been having a problem with Dell since about a year after this computer was given to my wife. This is the typical …
Join Now
“Oh take me with you
I don’t need shoes to follow
Bare feet running with you
Today even the rain
Even the rain
Can cut me up”
-Tori Amos
My grief for my grandmothers passing seems to have eased some. I am quite shocked really because I thought I would remain a mess for quite some time; in fact I thought my life would come to an end or just stop. I thought everything would stop when that day would come. It’s here, I am still here, and things are moving up and on.
I think what I am grateful for is the fact my grandmother and I were so close that we were comfortable with discussing her departure from this life. It still breaks my heart no doubt and Saturdays when we spoke for hours on end are still quite lonely, however, I know because we were open and honest that it made it easier than I thought it would be.
My new Dell computer I think I am making headway with all the problems I have been having with it. I had a tech remote connect to it and fix a couple things. The blue screening has stopped however the other day it started to act up like it did before it blue screened and then the screen went black. We shall see if it still does that and if it does well back to the techs to fix it.
So now that I decided to keep the Dell because I am making progress thus I can try to get my office back into order. The replacement parts for my new desk that ordered finally came in the other day after three weeks of having a half built hutch lying on my dining room floor. You don’t even know how ecstatic I was when I finally got that finished and put into place.
Tonight I was going through a huge box of stuff that I removed from my old desk and was basically organizing things when I came across handwritten letters and cards from my grandmother. I carefully read each one as if it was a precious treasure. Each morsel of wisdom, each word of love sunk into me and I felt her warmth wrap around me. I cried but I also was excited. She is so far away, but so near and she is with all of our loved ones past. I know she is safe, happy, and most of all in a place where she is loved.
With all that I am trying. I am trying so hard to keep at it. To be better. I will be better. I know several of my goals are past due their date, however, I will complete them. I will make more and with baby steps there will be leaps and I will be better. To honor her and her memory I WILL get through all of this.
I hope all of you are well.
~Bright Blessings~
Rea
Comments
You might also like ...
Thursday, March 06, 2008
son of a *%^&$!!! Current mood: cynical Category: Life i've ben feeling lame lately...i get this headache …
Woke up to a drizzly day, and not …
Woke up to a drizzly day, and not very cold. I have been yearning for my own space in the office. I …
I'm so glad that you're doing better Rea and so touched by your journal entry - especially the paragraph about coming across cards and letters from your Grammie and reading each as if it was a precious treasure. What a wonderful gift she was to you and you to her. I have a feeling she has you tucked snuggly in her soul. Baby steps are the best strategy - I think sometimes with giant leaps one finds themself back tracking covering ground they missed. Time lines are just motivators - they're not carved in stone. Be gentle with yourself and do things at a comfortable pace. Love and hugs to you hon, Odyssey
Odyssey