Thoughts right now....
"When thinking won't cure fear, action will." – William Clement Stone Husband went out of town …
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All and all it hasn't been such a good day for me. Saturdays I would call me Grammie and talk to her for 2-3 hours. We called Saturdays our day because that's when we spent "time" together. Saturdays of all the days of the week make me think the most. Today I went to pick my phone up to call her...I even dialed her number then realized she is no longer with us.
Tomorrow is my birthday. Husband woke me up and told me today he wanted to take me shopping for my birthday. I was excited and looking forward to the day but as we ran minor errands before the big shopping spree I began to think of Grammie and how much I miss her...and about how her rings were stolen off her. It took all I had not to break down crying in a store and when we walked out to the car in the parking lot I just started sobbing.
Its just one thing after another....
I forgot to tell all of you around the start of this month I got a brand spanking new dell computer and a brand new computer desk. Well my brand new Dell computer kept blue screening and messing up. We ran 10 hours of diagnostics and spent countless hours on the phone with the techs. We even had a tech come out and switch out the video card and ram. Finally Dell sent me another computer. This one blue screened as well. We called customer service and after getting passed around from person to person and was refused to be connected to a supervisior Husband basically told them we want our money back. Both computers go back Monday...refund will come god knows when.
I think that was the straw that broke the camels back....just one thing after another, yanno? Thus...why I cant stop crying.
Husband seems very concerned and worried. I know I am reading him wrong but he seems disappointed I didn't have my happy shopping spree. Right now I am trying to count my blessings...usually when I felt like this I would call my Grammie...and everything would be ok...cus she would make it so just by talking me out of this loop I am in. And when I close my eyes I can hear her voice....and I am holding onto that praying I will always remember it.
Usually Grammie was the only one from Ohio that would send me a card on my birthday. Instead my Aunt and Uncle made sure to send me one. Now every card Grammie sent me, every handwritten letter and memento means even more to me.
Right now....I just dont know what to do. I feel like something so precious has been stolen from me...
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I think it's wonderful that you can still hear your Grammie when you close your eyes. Hold her memories close to your heart, they will help you get through her passing.
I now you are really feeling down right now... but I still want to wish you a Happy Birthday.
**THE BIGGEST HUG YOU CAN IMAGINE IN THE WHOLE WORLD*
childofgrace
Sorry that you feel so bad. It hurts when loved person pass away. Any time you have bad day, remember your Grandma and what she would say. As long as you remember her and keep her in your heart she's with you.
Happy Birthday, and hope tomorrow you'll be a little better. One day at a time.
Blessings.
calmsee