OpheliaRising's Journal

"He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying."– Friedrich Nietzsche

Right now I am just exhausted! I finally got 8 hours of straight sleep but I have been up and running nonstop since about 6:30am. Husband and I went to the store to get all the stuff for the BBQ first thing this morning. Then when we got back home I realized I had forgotten a few things so back out we went so we wouldn’t have to later. By the time we got back it was lunch so we ate. Husband went to take a nap and I straightened up the kitchen and took a small break. (which when I say break I mean I was sitting still checking email and studying) During that time a friend of ours informed us that he will be coming in for the BBQ and will be here at noon tomorrow. Thus Husband went to the library and I went to work cleaning the house. Luckily I got everything I wanted to done! After Husband got back from the library he went outside to do some mowing. 

We decided to order out this evening so I don’t have to cook. I am just so tired and when I am tired its really hard to keep my anxiety in check. Worry, Worry, Worry! I am actually surprised though because I am doing great. I got a spike of fright for a moment but put it under total control. Instead of saying “well in one day and a wake up it will be all over” I am saying “I cannot wait to just enjoy!” Keeping positive really helps.

Tomorrow Husband has to run some errands and go into work for a few. Our friend that is flying in is one of Husbands old high school buddies. He is a very wonderful and awesome guy! We consider him family. I told him he will be stuck with me while Husband is gone and he said that he would love that despite the fact I will be in the kitchen prepping for Saturday. I don’t think he knows the extent of my anxiety and panic attacks but I think he can understand.

Also coming to the BBQ are some colleagues of Husbands that wanted to meet me but I just couldn’t do it and then when I could our schedules didn’t match up. They were the ones that Husband explained my “condition” to and the one admitted that she went through severe depression. Now I am wondering if they are going to be eye balling me to see if I flip out. LOL They are taking bets…haha!

Ok its off with me! I need to get a shower and eat…and try not to fall asleep before 9pm so I don’t ruin my sleep schedule!

I hope everyone is well!

~Bright Blessings~
Rea