OpheliaRising's Journal

"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine." –Morris West

I know I haven’t written in quite some time but things have been really busy here.  I have been catching up in school which I am surprised I am doing so well because part of me feels like I am just not totally focused. Over all I am getting a 96.46% (thats without my one paper being graded) and hopefully climbing. I finished organizing my binder of information so when it comes time for finals I will be totally focused on studying.

Husband and I broke down and bought a riding lawnmower. I am very excited about that considering we were push mowing 3 acres of land for exercise, however, since we got our bikes we don’t much needs to push mow anymore. What takes about a week to mow between husband and I takes about 5 hours tops complete with edging out. That leaves us more time to enjoy, putter in the garden and coax my roses to bloom- which they look lovely thanks to a tip from a good DS friend on here! (thank you!!!)

Since I got my new washer and dryer I fully organized the laundry room complete with a place to hang my ironing board and iron as well as my old mop, brooms etc. I even got pretty new curtains and cute little laundry room themed signs. It’s like Zen walking in there. I actually enjoy doing laundry now! I even took our cute mutt Draco’s bed out and placed it in my office under my “L” shaped desk. I noticed he enjoyed lying under the desk so now that’s his special place. My only dilemma is figuring out where I am going to put my H2O mop and its washable pads.  I guess I will figure that out when I tackle the guest bedroom and get that fully organized.

The BBQ we host for Husbands students is this Saturday. I have my list all ready to go for shopping however we are waiting until we get a final headcount. I am pretty excited and feel pretty positive about it. The only thing is I have that nagging little voice that I am afraid if I don’t acknowledge it that it will sabotage me. It keeps doing the “what if” crap. Like “what if you get sick like the last time the kids came over” Then I tell the voice “I got sick because I didn’t eat most of the day and when I actually ate it was bad food.” Basically I am trying to defuse the voice with real honest to God reasons as to why the panic and anxiety happens. Deep down I know everything will be ok…I just hope I don’t stupidly sabotage it. So I have to keep myself in check, remind myself to use the tools I learned from my workbook etc. I know I can do this! I am excited for the BBQ and to actually BE NORMAL!

I hope everyone is well! Special thoughts and prayers to those who are going through a hard time.

~Bright Blessings~
Rea