OpheliaRising's Journal

I finally did it. After years of writing poetry on a daily basis I went silent for the longest. Well, today I finally cranked one out. It was rare for me as I thought that part of me died but alas it seems it only remained dormant.

I think what inspired me for today was that I was really missing my great grandmother. I always used to write her poems. We would spend afternoons together reading poetry- mainly mine. She enjoyed my poetry so very much.

Today I was just missing. I missed all of those who passed away in my life- and all the relationships that "died". So this journal is dedicated to the poems I wrote about simply feeling that void, finding comfort where you can, and having a reconing in the face of life’s hard ships.

Shockingly enough most of these ARE copyrighted. You take them without permission and I will bite you! :D Oh, and feel free to add in your two cents. I love to hear different sides. I often write my poetry very open so people can take pieces and relate it to them.

"Always Be"   2008
By Rea
(Poem dedicated to Great Grandmother)

Stupid little trinkets lie about the wake
Into the after math that is life after your death
I always think of you when my eyes open in the morning
At nights I feel you near holding me tight

I remember the hot summer’s days
You would sit quietly with one of my hands in yours
We didn’t have to say much- it just was

As the warm breeze blew I didn’t know you would become such
I just thought you would always be
And as the sunset blazes across the horizon
I wonder if you are one of the angels who painted this perfect sky

We were born lifetimes apart
and I was a mere flash within yours
but you have engraved such a deep mark on my heart
that I feel you near every second of everyday

So I give this to you as I stumble and fall through life
my tears, my joy, my pain...my heart
I will remember the simplicity of your words
Cherish you I will...
and carry you with me always.

~*~

"Peppermint Tears of Decay"  2003
-Rea
(Dedicated to friend Gabe, who took his life at 16. This is the reconing.)

~*~

"Noise"   2004
-Rea
(Dedicated to Z, close friend who died of cancer.)

It’s a blue haze
winged like a butterfly
A Cyan nightmare
with a scream
to blow your world apart
Like delicate porcelain
we crack from side to side
violently smashed
Cerulean fits
Azure strikes
Cobalt runs through my veins
Sapphire echoes
Indigo tears
the blue that falls like the rain
She said she was ok
but behind her words
were the distance voices of blue
-distorted-
in the mellow here after
after the destruction and despair
I've put down my sword
to listen to the noise

~*~

“The Way You See Me” 2003
-Rea
(dedicated to the start of the demise of the relationship between my dad and I)

I can’t help but see you as a little girl
with skinned knees
and chapped lips
braces and pigtails
23 years of my life past
and still when I look back
the demons of the past
have dissipated into solace
Never have castles burned so brightly
and troubled waters under mending bridges frozen
Never has a soft sigh meant.....just that
When I look in the mirror
I know....I am just his little girl
and that is all I will be to him
with braces and wild hair
and shoes that make me four inches taller
with an indivisible purpose and invisible presence
Stumbling and falling through my adult hood
until I can get it right….
until I can make him proud of me.

~*~

"After Thought" (2005)
-Rea
(dedicated to the actual demise of the relationship between my dad and I)

I wanted to thank you for this pain
for all of it
it doesn't hurt anymore
it just numbs me

I smile now; give a little nod
because its so expected to be
just an after thought.

I was placed some where in the back
boxed up and put away
only taken out and dusted off on occasion
when you felt obligated to notice
when you were compelled to give a second of your time

I don't want to be your after thought.
I don’t want to be your anything.
I just don’t want you to notice anymore
so it doesn’t hurt when you forget.