joankmli's Journal

today is an okay day. not much to write about. i'm hoping to find a place that i like to move to by monday. i'm trying my best to tough it out untill then. my roomie and i talked about it yesterday. she suggested that i stay another month untill i find something that i really want. i told her i'm sure that i would find something this weekend for sure. the places that i've seen so far were ok but it seems like every where i go they want so much down. i really should find something closer to my job in miami, but i like it here in broward county. miami is tooo crowded!! my car needs to be fixed asap because my transmition is slipping a little. i need to get that taken care of because that will be a lot of money to replace the whole thing.

my moods have been better this week. they get a little out of wack when i am stressed.

i dont consider myself delusional. my pdoc tells me that i am because of the things that i believe and are real to me. i know when someone is watching me and following me. i can feel it. i know  the people at work are trying to get me fired because they hate me and wished i didnt work there anymore. these things are real to me. i havent taken the higher dosage of my antipsychotic that my shrink perscribed to me. 

my depression is very hard to get over especially since i am in this situation with my roomie. i have a very tough time getting out of it. i stopped taking my anti depressants a while back. i didnt like the idea of me taking them AND all my other psych meds (too many brain meds) and i didnt think i need the anti depressants at the time. but now i regret stopping them. i think i should mention that to my shrink. i am soo tired right now. long day at work and i'm glad to be off for the next few days.