Frightened
The closer next Sunday come the higher my anxiety. Even sitting here I am shaking like a leaf. I have not finished the …
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my depression is getting worse. today i just felt sad and gloomy none stop. i don't have one single reason, but multiples reasons right now. everytime i get like this i think about everything that made me sad through out the years like growing up and how mentally and physically abusive my dad was to us. he would be okay one day and then angry the next for no reason. he took his anger out on us but whooping us with anything, slapping, punching, and holding his hand around our neck while pressing us to the wall. especially when he was drunk. he would say things like "you are stupid" and not allow us visit friends. he kept us away from our mom and told us that she didnt want us anymore (he lied) then he gained custody of us when they got a divorce. he used to bring all kinds of women in the house and threatned us if we said anything. i could go on and own about this. but i start to cry when i think about how sore i was after him beating me up so many times. i attempted suicide when i was 15 and sliced myself at 16/17. just alot of self torture because i hated myself. it was awful. he's okay now but it's so hard to forget the torture that i and my siblings went through when we were kids.
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im sorry that u had to experience all those terrible things i understand growing up being the victim of abuse and thats just what we were "vitims
" im here 4 u sweetie
floridadownandout
I am sorry too and understand as well my dads form of discipline was to bang my head and my sister's head against each other. I know its hard to forget. When I hear those old recordings playing in my head I SAY STOP SOMETIMES OUT LOUD. Then I try to think of something positive to say. So If the players is saying "you are so stup.." I try not to finish it. I would say "STOP I AM SMART I AM INTELLIGENT WOMAN"
Yeah it takes practice I still have a long way to go I often forget this method but when I remember it does help.
Taja954
You poor thing. I'm afraid three of my grandchildren will have to go through this with their dad. I was emotionally abused too. I think that's why I have sk.
mamavicki
Im sorry you experienced all that. You dont deserve to be hurting anymore hunnie. Im your friend, and I care xx
clarisse
Thats hard to deal with but you have to find a way to lighten that load. It will always be with you but the load can get easier to handle. I wish you the best.
LadyKay29
Totally understand.......x
surfboard
WOW GIRL.I AM HERE FOR YOU....IM SORRY YOU WENT THROUGH ALL THAT.HAVE YOU FOUND LOTS OF SUPPORT ON THIS SITE?I HAVE.LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU.AND TALKING.WBS CHRISTINE
cmf