joankmli's Journal

i dont know why i am feeling a little sad right now. i think that my life sucks right now. is it because i'd stopped taking my anti depressants? well i guess it's part of the reason. i think that i am sad because i'm finally moving on from my roomate and i'm afraid of being alone right now i guess. i also have these anxieties about work and what if i get fired. i can't seem to shake this off. i know i stress alot about things like that. it makes my sad because i'm wondering what will i do if i loose my job? how will i get good medical care without the insurance? where will i live if i loose my job while on my own? what if my doc doesn't approve me to have the breast reduction surgery? or how will i make it living by myself right after i have the surgery? i'm afraid that when i move by myself i might go into a down spiral again like when i left my hubby. i hate feeling like that. but everytime i get depressed it seems that i never can get out of it and i feel like i'm getting into it again because of all of this.