joankmli's Journal

I'm a little sad at the moment thinking about what happend a while back. my ex husband and i were seperated almost 3years ago. we moved on. i live with my best friend and her kids, we are roomates. we love each other just like a family. well anyway, my ex hubby and i still kept in contact with each other, you know as friends now that all the anger subsided. well he told me that he found a friend and this lady and he are starting a relationship. at first i said "congradulations" but then it started to sink in "omg it's really over. but why am i sad? i thought i was over him." well i knew that i still loved him as a person. but i wasnt in love with him anymore or so i thought. i went into a deep depression that day and i cried and cried myself to sleep. i woke up and called out from work. then i cried that day and when i went back to work i went to the restroom and cried again! so that night i called him and i asked him what was the chances of him and i getting back together and he said a slim chance. i thought that i would never ask him that because it was sooo over when we split. i ended up crying over the phone and he coldly said i'm sorry but i like this lady and we are gonna move forward.

I was in a down spiral that whole week. i set up an appoint to see my psychologist/counselor and told her my sobering issue and she told me a few pointers on how to completely get over him. it's gonna take time. but she taught me the process of letting go. you know, the grieving and anger and acceptance type stuff. my psychiatrist raised my dosage of antidepressants and those things combined helped me out alot. the out come of it all is that i am back in controll of my emotions over him and i am Over him!! although i moved on i still have a little sad times like today. but going back to him will be way worse than this so thinking of that is my stroghold.

i just wanted to share my feeling to day in my journal while i was thinking about it. hopefully if anyone want to comment or asks questions i am opened to any advice.