rollercoaster
I feel like I am on a rollercoaster ride of emotions
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well, another day goes by and i'm still depending on others to get to work. i had to call out yesterday because i didnt have a way. this morning i was super late because the lady that gives me a ride in the mornings over slept. my boss says that this is getting bad. so now i am worried that my job is in jeoperdy again.
yesterday moment i had got into a heated aguement with my ex. he's the one thats been taking me to work when i dont have a way. the arguement was so bad that i felt like a big traing ran over me. it left me in a horrible mood yesterday.
my pdoc is on vacation for the whole month of oct. my next appt isnt until nov 21. thats a long time without seeing her. i feel like i'm gonna loose it right now. my emotions are in an uproar. i just cant seem to control them at this time. one minute i'm ok then the next minute i feel like hurting myself again.
the other day i was feeling fine and in control. today i'm feeling like true crap!
why do i keep living. why cant i just die. it's like i dont want to die a violent death. i just wanna go in peace. overdosing on my meds, or slicing my wrist again. maybe it will work this time.
why does life have to be so hard and sad most of the time. i'm tired of my emotions going on this rollercoaster ride. why must i go through this emotional torment.
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I'm sorry you're having such a hard time dear. Just try to hang in there. Things will get better. I know it sucks having to depend on someone else.
kajunaire
Oh sweetie, you can have those thoughts but please dont act on them. Put this in God's hands. I know it is not always easy being a Christian. You are so much stronger then you think you are
emeila
Well If I say look forward to getting old ,youll say thats nuts yeah well it slows down the body and in alot of cases the mind,.Not so much triggers you anymore oh some things do but not every little thing .Its like the mind decides to pick and choose its battles because some all of sudden just dont matter so much anymore.Its like that saying,Follow these two rules.one ,dont sweat the small stuff and two,Its all small stuff.
ment to be funny but in alot of cases as you get older ,you think that way
rambler