joankmli's Journal

well things for me is okay for now. my car is still down, still catching rides to work because no public transportation runs that early in the morning to get me there on time. i'm glad that my boss understands this, and is willing to work with me until i get my car fixed. what a relief! my roomie and i are getting alone really really good. better than before. i guess we just needed that break from one another for a little while. we love each other so much. we just moved in another friend of ours so that we can get more help with the bills and everything is working out smoothly. eventullay i will get my own place again, but the way the economy is going i am thankful that we have each other to help out with the expenses.

i went to my pdoc appointment last week. my ex husband drove me. we are still really good friends. well. i invited him in to sit with me during my visit. that was a disaster! my pdoc was asking him questions about me. she blasted at me about certain behaviors i had. i dont know if she's suppose to do that or what. but i felt so small amd embarassed.

i've been sick again. every little thing hurts my stomach. if i eat a certain amount i throw it up. i noticed that anytime i drink milk, i get sick. like right now, i ahd tea with milk, now my stomach is having that feeling again. i'm gonna tell my dr. about this.  

updates on emotions:

moods:  my moods have been stable lately, even though i am going thru this set back with the car situation. no severe mood swing in a while now. the mood stablizer med is working really good i guess.

depression: sometimes i take my anti depressant med every other day because of the constipation and it makes me dizzy. i'm gonna talk to my dr about that. i've had my down days. i guess that normal. but it not like i am thinking about suicide again. i hate that feeling. it's just aweful.

psychosis: i have had a really bad psychotic episode in a very long time. the anti psychotic that i'm on is great. no side effects.

anxiety: this is something that i struggle with. i am a worry wart. i am always worried abot something. i've always been like that. i dont take the anxiety med because i dont like the after effects of it.

anyways, enough of my rambling. i'm just happy that all is ok for right now.