joankmli's Journal

Journal Entry for July 21, 2008 Mood

Monday, July 21, 2008

i'm gonna do something very spontaneous. i'm packing up all of my stuff and moving to georgia with my roomie. i feel like i am struggling here to make it day by day. rent too high, cost of living is high. it's very hard down here for me in south florida. i know it's hard everywhere right now but i'm willing to take my chances elsewhere and start fresh. maybe thats all i need. move into another surrounding. thats what i am going to do. i am gonna take a leave from my job. not resigning yet. by me taking leave, i can still keep my health insurance. and just in case i dont like it, i can come back as if i never left. this is something new. i usually plan things but i am gonna take this chance. i'm a little nervous because i've never done this before.

my mood and depression: my mood has been down for the past few weeks. like i'm falling into depression and i cant seem to shake it off. i feel so down in the dumps at times. i have a hard time getting back up. i'm always crying in my room. sadness takes over and i am stuck in it. so stuck!!!!

i hate myself sometimes. i wish my mood was up again. up to where i am happier and i feel good again. why cant my mood change. isnt thats what the bipolar is? maybe my mood stabilizer is stabilizing my bad mood. i mean, i dont wanna be manic because the mania gets me in trouble and then i crash. but i just want to feel just a little bit happier.

but i'm glad to have good friends on ds that helps me out alot when i am down.

thank you all so much.

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Comments

hey...sorry i'm just now answering. Haven't been feeling my best today. Girl, i know what you mean about a fresh start. I've been thinking of doing the same thing. Just go somewhere different and begin again. I'm sorry you are stuck down. I wish I knew what to say about that. I think maybe your meds may need adjusting, but I'm just guessing. I wish you luck with your move. I hope it's just the thing you need to find you.
Gwen

kajunaire
Oh sweetie, I wish I had all the answers for you. Talk with Pdoc. I hope moving works out for you.

emeila
I lived in georgia the people are still very friendly there.My experence was good ,people were very supportive there I was from the north and they still treated me good.I think its a wise idia though to take leave from your job and not quit ,You really dont know what youll find in georgia .but I hope you find something.I intentionally moved to a finacially depressed area so my ssi check would strech a little farther and it has taken a little getting used to but im getting better as the months go by at accepting it and trying to make myself a life here.I hope all works out for you.

rambler