Hola! Thank you to everyone who …
Hola! Thank you to everyone who commented on my journal. I am feeling good again! I think it was probably my acid …
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i've been keeping some of feelings to myself because i dont want to ruin everyone elses day. i try to wish everyone a good day. i have been feeling extremely sad these past couple of days. i also worry so much and it's like the anxiety is taking control. i look back on the things in my life that i couldve done different. alot of mistakes and wrong decisions. i feel like a big failure. i have nothing going for myself. i was so tempted to cut my arm again last night but i didnt have a blade. i threw them away after the last time i cut for fear that i will do it again. living my life has no meaning. why am i here? just to be miserable and take up space? just to be a person thats sad all the time? i'm tired of being ill and taking all these meds. whats the point of taking meds when i still get like this. my moods have been up and down for the past weeks. i feel so out of control at this point. i just want out. out of this misery. i have an appointment to see my pdoc tomorrow but i might not go. i think she will only raise the dosage of my meds and i feel like i dont need a higher dosage. i dont even like taking the dosage that i have. it's so hard to shake this off. i just want to give up. i cry and cry but my tears have no meaning.
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you know what? you need to go to your doctor. You may think you don't need your meds raised, but you do or you wouldn't be feeling like you do. They either need to be raised, or changed. As for not writing cause you don't want to "ruin everyone else's day" well honey, just get that out of your mind. We are ALL here for the same reason. For find comfort and support and FRIENDS who understand what we go through. So you write how you feel, when you feel. Because the main purpose for writing is for YOU! Love ya.
kajunaire
i agree with kajunaire. you need to get your meds fixed so you'll feel better. and don't worry about not writing due to ruining other's day! everybody here who wants to get better writes to help themselves & possibly find others with the same problems to comfort each other. good luck! and i'm happy to have you on my friends list.
ange1ik.fruitcake
From one cutter to another....you sound just like me or rather how I feel when I cut.Your pdoc may NOT up your dosage but instead try somthing different.I dont know if your on lamicil but it made a world of difference to me.
I know how crappy it is to take soooo many pills each day but your not alone in that.Most of us on ds are medicated and we have to accept that we need our meds to keep us safe.Take care and if you ever need to talk Im here for ya.
Jo
1whoruns
Remember you said you like your Pdoc, you might feel better if you go. hugs and smiles
emeila