xBlissx's Journal

So. Saturday I posted because I was feeling really hyper etc. In my opinion it could have been hypomania. BUT at the same time my thinking patterns were still destructive. I wanted to self harm.

I had a review today at the hospital and explained that since Saturday I have been in this 'good mood' but not as hyper as Saturday.

My question is. Does anyone think it's a problem that I still feel suicidal? I mean...suicidal as in, if someone was to say OK you can go and do it. I wouldn't hesitate at all. I WANT to do it. The ONLY reason I won't is because it will hurt my family. My therapist doesn't know I still feel like this. Should I tell him?
Since I've been in this 'heightened mood' since Saturday, I think about these thoughts and I'm just not bothered. It doesn't scare me at all.

Any thoughts?

I've had a really good day today. Still feeling on the hyper side which is a good thing as it means I've happily enjoyed my birthday which I was REALLY not looking forward to.

Went to Day Patients this morning and spent the afternoon out with one of my friends from there (who is doing really well and soon to be discharged). We spent the day in London. In the morning she took me to see the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park and after Lunch we went to the Trocodero.

I had such a good time and it's left me in a really good mood.

I have an early start tomorrow at Day Patients as it's weigh day. Have to be there an hour earlier than normal. Bet my legs will ache tomorrow ahh! Hopefully all the fun today wont havee effected my weight (yes, I ate out too).
Been told I need to tell them all about how it went today...although I think the main thing they are interested in is whether I ate or not

x-Bliss-x

I'm feeling a bit crazy at the moment.

Hyper, agitated, laughing at everything, feel like I'm going completely insane...
BUT at the same time I feel like shit. I mean like REALLY crap! Which just sounds rediculous because I'm giggling at everything and I'm sitting here thinking I want to self harm, my life is hopeless and feel soo bad on the inside.

IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!

It's a horrible feeling, I feel like I could actually do ANYTHING and not care! Luckily I don't live alone though and trying to entertain my hyper side by having about 5 different internet windows open and doing lots of different things at once....with the tv on...

O_O SeNsOrY OvErLoAd!!! O_O