Today is alright. I'm having …
Today is alright. I'm having more calories than I did the other day, but still not what I should be having. And …
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It's been a while huh?
Well good news. Everything's gone pretty well. I can even eat without feeling much guilt at all. My body image is better - I think my obsessive exercising has finally made some real changes lol. Nothing new to really rant about... went to my therapist today and we talked. I'm still the same weight I was a week and some ago, and the week before that... even though I have INTENTIONALLY been TRYING to GAIN muscle weight! I run every day for 30 mins and stretch and do lunges, crunches, situps, lifting a 15 pound weight and doing squats with it too... I can FEEL myself stronger, I see a bit of muscle coming on but WTF I haven't gained A THING. HOW DOES THAT F*&#ING WORK?!?! I'm mad. I already am having issues with eating 2100 calories to maintain my weight apperently. I'm just too full. Genuinely, I am. Maybe it's because I'm still used to the hunger feeling, but a lot of the time I just don't feel like eating, not much due to Ed. I just don't feel like it, like stuffing myself. Here's the deal, I eat about 2100 calories now on a day that I'm able to stay on track schedule-wise. Most days. I burn from exercise, I would say on average 400-450 calories on 5 or 6 days of the week. The rest is left up to my metabolism and my general walking around with daily life. On some calculators on the net I've found my BMR is around 1350-1400ish. So I'm right on track, right? I'm not falling behind... so when I try to gain muscle weight, I'm eating for it, and I'm still not gaining. Whyyyy. I wonder if I could eat 2100 without exercise and maintain still? Mentally I couldn't do it but physically, I wonder?
Anyway. Besides that everything is ok. I admit to still having some issues, like the junk food fear, restaurant "phobias" and outings involving showing some skin and/or food where I don't know what went in to it.... or anything that really conflicts with my strict daily schedule. But yeah. I'm sort of repeating myself here cause nothing's really new.
Unless of course you've got some tips for me to gain some muscle weight without eating even more?
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stop doing so much cardio. you're really not eat all that much, especially when you are trying to gain muscle. are you getting enough protein?
sophie09