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Is this journal shared with others? I guess it doesn't matter. I am 30 years old. I have a birthday coming up if I live to see it. I have three kids 14, 12 and 9. I am an unemployed R.N. Would you believe I can not find a job. My life is in shambles. As always. I don't really know what to say. I wish this was like a blog or something. Or just straight chat. I am better at telling about myself if people ask questions. I have tried to kill myself 3 times. The last time I was in ICU on a vent. Next time I promise I will not fail. I don't know waht else to say right now
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What a coincidence, I'm an RN too! No shit. And yes, I've thought of suicide. I've not done anything to land me in the hospital, I don't want to end up on 1:1 supervision, with someone watching my every frakin' move. I have a son, he's 15 and a daughter 14. If you'd like, you can read my journal entries. I have found writing VERY therapeutic. When I went to the psychiatrist today, I took him a copy of my first journal entry because I knew when he asked what he could do for me, I wouldn't be able to speak. I encourage you to put your honest thoughts and emotions, even if it's just a sentence of cuss words, down on paper or in your journal here. The very sign that you've come here is a positive step toward asking for help. We have to find our positive steps, no matter how small they may be, wherever and whenever they come. Please, don't give up.
blurose7