SarahKeturah's Journal

206 Days of LDN

37 Days of Neprinol

5 Days of Elations

I'm feeling a little bit down today.  Though I could walk down the stairs easily today and didn't have any trouble lifting my arms......though my skin is looking a little better, and my bible bumps on my right hand are noticeably gone....(my left hand still has one)......though I am basically making minor improvements.....still have some swelling in my left forearm.......

I'm feeling a little sorry for myself.  We'll call it a pity party.

The last two days I've been working on a shot for "hotel for Dogs".  It involves a few hundred air fresheners and the task is to replace the existing air fresheners for new ones.  My job in particular was to roto out parts, and paint in a new back plate (using photoshop).  Most of my hours were spent on the roto.....it involves moving points with your mouse.  The painting which consisted of probably 5 hours, used a wacom tablet and a pen.  It's much like drawing only it's digital, but still uses the same movements.

By the end of my second day, after around 5 hours of painting, I started to feel the excrutiating  pain in my right hand.  I found myself bighting my hand, just to stop the pain....I know, strange...I've never done that before.  Along with of course, massaging and stopping in the middle of it to rest my hand.  The problem here was, I wasn't finished.  The pain actually made me stop.  The pain also slowed me down and distracted me.  Now, I know pain from RA is certainly not new news.  And I have done my best at not using my hands for two years now....I have not worked on any additional projects, I have tried not to strain my hands, etc. etc., hoping the rest would eventuall "heal" them, or at least prevent furthur damage.

I realize RA makes us give up things.  I know the muscles in my arms have become weak when they were once strong.  I realize my eyes can be blurry here and there, and that holding a pot of coffee can be a little rough.

But it's hard for me to come to terms with my hands........  How can I progress in my career if my hands are limiting me?  Are there options for me?

So these are the questions that have been plaguing me today and last night, even though the debate should or would have normally been at the forefront of my mind.

BTW, I thought Obama did great and McCain is a piece of work full of lies and anger!  Just thinking of it does make me angry.  I can only hope we don't have him as president!  And please, if anyone is interested in joining my new group...which I may change the name to be a little more ambivalent....please do.  I have a lot of videos and links I'll be sharing.  So please join!!

Anyway, I'm just trying to come to terms with my hands and trying to figure out if I have to rest them for good.  Thoughts?

I hope everyone is doing well!