This is the poem i wrote for Sara. …
This is the poem i wrote for Sara. I can't help these feelings, The've made me obsessed,I don't want …
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I think that part of my depression and attachment problem is because i don't get hug by my mom when i am growing up, so now i am frantically looking for someone to just simply hold me tight and tell me everything will be okay, tell me that i am worthy, beautiful, and smart. I feel like such a little girl when i am around my ex-professor (who i still have feeling for), that little girl inside me is trying to frantically looking for love. I feel so trapped.
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i can understand your feelings. i know how it is not to feel loved as a little girl, but YOU ARENT A LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE! you have the right to feel sad cause of it, but you lost your childhood. Now you are an adult, some day you will have your own family and you are old enough to be a mother yourself. If your mother never showed that she loves you, thats sad and i know it damaged your life and your future. But you should know that no matter what your mom thinks, you are worth!!! And i am sure you are also really beautiful and smart girl. You deserve so much!!!! And you can get love, but i have the feeling that the love you want it isnt the love you can get. You still feel like a little girl and you want your mom to hold you and to be there for you. You need the love of your mom. And you cannot expect from other people to give you what your mom couldnt give you. it wouldnt be fair to others. Only a mother can love you like a mother should love her child. If you will expect this from others (Sharon) you will be disappointed cause she isnt able to give you what you want. in fact no one can give you what you want. No matter how hard it is, you have to accept your past, your childhood and you need to accept the fact that you are an adult now. you can have a good life if you will try to live your life as an adult and not as a child. you grew up. if your mam wasnt/isnt there for you, she is missing so much. I honestly think the problem here is that you dont feel as an adult and in a way you might want sharon to be your mom. thats why you are confused about everything. i am saying all that from my experiences and i have finally learned that no one will give me the love my mom should when i was younger, i am grateful to a teacher from my high school to help me through all the hard times and i care about her a lot. but thats it. i get it now that she couldnt be my mom and give me all the attention i needed cause she has her own family and i am not her daughter. And i am growing up. I am learning to leave my past behind and focus on my present and future cause one day i dont want to regret that i missed my whole life just cause i didnt have the childhood i would like to have. its over for both of us. Steph, we are both an adults and thinking about how we needed/need our mothers is not a way to get better. I hope you will realize that and focus on the life you could have now. I know its a hard work, but trying to get better will pay off i promise! **hugs**
sarchy