KDraider16's Journal

Raider is feeling pretty good about herself. She almost got in a FIGHT and kick the shit out of some little punk! but the one thing that kept me from doing it was Emily. I heard her voice in the back of my head and I didn't. I wanted to hit him so bad but I didn't. And it was all becuase he said some mean shit to a girl then called me a faggot. so I told him "I'm not a guy, asshole!" then he turned around and said something that just flipped that switch and I turned around and went after him as soon as he turned around and came at me. But of course Mrs. Lawrence and Mom were there and stopped me, along with Emily's voice saying the same thing Mom and Mrs. Lawrence were, "its not worth it". But I almost did. That's the first time that being called something because of my orientation has pissed me off that bad. See what happens when I don't have Cody around, thank god I have Em on my shoulder. I guess I'm at a loose wire without Emily I went off like a cannon. But see the little punk realized I wasn't a guy but a girl and felt like shit so he had to apologize, came to that on his own. I wonder if he would have had I been a guy... striaght men they're so defensive, WTF? anyway, I kind feel tough now....oh wait I've always been tough. Damn I'm a loose cannon without Emily around or cody for that matter. But I know tomorrow I'm prolly gonna get in some shit or something with my principal even though I didn't hit him and technically he harrassed me first. See I couldn't hit him as much as I wanted cuase if I did I would be arrested and written up, I can't get arrrested or I'd be out of luck for the police academy. That and I really need to see Emily again and getting in a fight, tickets bought or not, I wouldn't be going. I'd be in SHIT. so I clentched my first, remembered what everyone was saying even as I was yelling in his face. I remembered it wasn't worth it and I was the bigger "man" so to speak and walked away. Even as he was comming at me I walked away, and that's what pissed him off the most: that I wasn't afraid of him or intimidated and that I was the bigger person and walked away, I turned my back to him. Little fucking punk. But hey they fucker apologized even shook my hand in apology all cause he realized after I was a GIRL, not a guy. lovely. Would it really have matter. I piss guys off cause I'm more of a man than them I guess.

Emily baby, see you've made me a better person. If I didn't have you, I'd be down in the office right now, prolly in cuffs, cause I beat the shit out of the little punk. And I'd be facing charges, getting kicked out of school, etc.  Believe it or not, you've calmed me down and made me a better person. I love you. Thank you.