KDraider16's Journal

right so I'm not in a happy preppy mood at all...actually all I want to do is cry but I'm not going too. Don't worry it has nothing to do with Emily and I...well actaully it does but don't worry were not fighting, we've been great lately...I think... anyway...kinda hard to get through the day when all your dreams the night before consisted of your girlfriend leaving you in some way. Oh my favorite, yeah this one is STUCK in my head, is where Emily went to Mexico for 10 days and when she got back just a few days before Cody and I fly out to see her, she calls me and tells me she met someone and wants to be with them cause they're exactly who they say they are and they haven't changed at all. So she leaves me for this chick for all thses reasons and a day later she calls me up and apologizes and all this, cause it turns out...the girl she left me for is more abusive then her last girlfriend before me and beat her and did something else but I can't bring myself to think it or say it. So she apologizes and of course since I love her so much and I want her to be safe. I tell cody that we're still going to colorado cause I have to beat the shit out of this chick and I have to in a way get my girl back...course it doesn't all go as planned and well...

The chick ends up dead,

Cody's in prison for murder 1,

I'm all alone to face the days ahead....

And Emily is dead....

So yeah that's my wonderful dreams, that one woke me up three times in the night and I really wanted to call Em to hear her voice cause it felt so real but then I remembered I couldn't because Em turns her phone off at night cause she can't think to plug it in at night before she goes to bed so instead she just turns it off! Whereas I leave mine on 24/7 just in case she needs me. Whatever. So instead I called her this morning, very reassuring when SHE DOESN'T ANSWER. So now I feel like shit, I have to go to work and I don't want to but I need the money. So yeah gonna go waste 5 hours with those fucking images in my head then come home and prolly not talk to Em until god knows what hour tonight. So yeah. There's my saturday.