DJH's Journal

Hey everyone...thanks for the well wishes. Just a quick heads up....Z's still been hot, which is normal (fevers last 2-3 days usually), and hopefully he's had the one seizure for this particular illness (usually, it's just one when the fever initially spikes).

There's really nothing worse that coming home to see an ambulance in front of your house. Have you ever experienced that? It ain't fun.

I've always found myself to profoundly affected by these events, but in weird ways. Twice in the last week, we've had scary moment with Z (the seizure, and also a brief moment when his hand got caught in an elevator door last weekend), and both times, I moved into this automated "don't get in my way or I will kill you" mode where the only thing on earth that mattes is doing something, anything, to fix my son's problem. Unfortunately, with seizures, there's not much you can do except stand there and feel like an idiot while he sleeps off / recovers from the event.

And then, about 20 minutes later, you start to shake. The profound reality of what you've just been through hits you.

I always watched TV shows about plane crashes and violence and never thought about what happens 20 minutes later, when it all sinks in. That's when it's hard to deal.