marilu's Journal

Journal Entry for October 11, 2007 Mood

Thursday, October 11, 2007

well 2 months without my mom 1 month without my dad ...this is surreal i still cant believe i will never see them here onthis earth again no more hugs no more kisses no more bitch sessions with my mom about men..no more i love yous no ,more sunday football no more whip cream fights during half time...no more shopping trips..no more advice when the kids or hubby drive me crazy no nore dads beans he made the best no more jokes from dad loved his sense of humor! more pain more crying more loneliness more heartbreak more depression more more more pain!!!!!!!!

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know where you are at hun...just remember somewhere there is a rainbow at the end of this tunnel...the darkness cant last forever...it will always pain a bit but not as it is now....loves ya and thinking of you....thanks for being there for me and being my friend....hugs...holly

themoonsdaughter
I know how you feel. We need to remember all of the years that WE WERE BLESSED to have them in our lives physically. We need to hold onto the faith that they are still with us, though in a different way. Whenever I need my Dad's advice, I talk to him and if I listen hard enough, I hear exactly what he would tell me.

GoldenLox18
Has it only been 2 months and l month? No wonder you're suffering so. I was a puddle on the floor for about 6 months. You're right on schedule hon. It's the pits. To tell the truth I don't really remember much of that time. It's as though I was semi=conscious. You're at the beginning of a very long road...I'm still on it. One step at a time. There's no other way. My heart is reaching out to you, can you feel it?

Timbuktu
The pain will change. It will always be present b/c of the love we shared, but I believe that the pain will lessen and become less "in power" than it is now. This is a long transition to endure, i know. I am so sorry. Keep trying as best you can, that's all we can do. Do something GOOD for yourself today-- a small treat, an extra 5 min to rest, new soap? I dont know, something small to make you feel good. They tell me that lavender is supposed to help flush out bad energy. Maybe a lavendar bath? Love to you!!

KelleyS
Believe me, I know that surreal feeling you talk about. There are still times, after almost 8 months that I feel this is all just a bad dream. I also know very well that pain you feel. In time it will lessen. I agree w/ Kelley. Definitely do something good for yourself today. You deserve to be happy and it's definitely what your parents would want for you.

maryskid
hun but that surreal feeling is what makes you rememebr them so don't push it away too far hey!

mumofthree
Have you considered a grief group? I am going to one and it is very helpful. I was a mess one year after my mom passed and I began going to one. I sat down to read the material and it made me realize how depressed, angry and lonely i was feeling. I can't imagine how you must feel. I am doing better now. I still have moments, but it has been 19 months for me. It gets better, but you have been through so much in a short period. So sorry, becky

becky80
hello friend, I just read your latest entry. You could have written that for both of us. I feel the same way. I'm so sorry for all the feelings and pain you are going through. I need to write more in my journal, to let it out. Talk to you later. Debbie

dairydoll