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my moms death certificates came to day really upsetting i mean i know shes gone but seeing that just makes it sooo much more real!!!!i dont wanna it to be real want it all to be a bad dream please god let kit be a bad dream and let me wake up soon!!!!!!!!!!g
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So sorry. Put the papers away and don't look at them. That's what I did. When I come across them now, l l/2 years later, they still give me a jolt. I still get bills from ambulance companies, drs., hospitals, etc, addressed to them. At first I would feel physically ill seeing their names. I asked my husband if he could handle and he agreed and then, of course didn't, and that's why I'm still getting their mail. It's amazing how these things can hurt. At this point, I just kind of turn my eyes away from the names. Most of it is junk mail now so I toss it. But, to tell the truth, the way I feel now, it's as though a piece of my heart has died and I block out all feeling. I called a Dr. today and made an appointment. We'll see if it will help.
You know, for 6 months I was on grief-net, adult children who have lost their parents. I found it very helpful. one of the moderators had lost her father 7 years ago and still suffered. I thought, at the time that was odd. Surely, 7 years down the line....Now I'm not so sure. One year down the line, it's definitely different. I'm not in constant agony, thank g-d. But I do ache. Maybe more for the change in the way I see things than simply for the loss. The whole world and all the people in it seem different to me. But maybe that's depression talking and I can find some help soon.
One thing I did find that helped. One day, my daughter smiled at something I said. It was a shy little smile. The same smile my father had. It touched me so deeply and I thought, he's not really gone at all, he's in her. No one else smiles quite that way. And it made me love her all the more! A friend told me that she thinks of it as the law of conservation of energy. In physics they teach that matter and energy in the universe are never lost. In the same way, maybe we can think of our loved one's, their spirit and energy, still being somewhere in the universe. Nothing is ever truly lost. I hope you get some sleep tonight and dream of your mom and her spirit and love. Then you'll have her with you. Take care.
Timbuktu
i tooo am going to statr therapy hopeful well both get the help and relief from this pain.
marilu
((((((Marilu))))) So sorry you got hit with this pain. I hated looking at that piece of paper. In fact we are waiting on the official one (7 months later) and I know it will give me the same reaction.....Nothing will bring our Moms back to us in this physical world, but the physical pieces of paper...I just want to rip them up!! Much love to you hun!!
AlwaysNmyHeart
HI MY SON WILL BE GONE 7YRS NEXT TUESDAY I GOT 8 DEATH CERTICATES WHY I DONT KNOW I COULNT EVEN TELL YOU WHERE THEY ARE.ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP NOW ITS STILL SO VERY HARD.BUT I WILL GET THROUGH IT,I HAVE TO.FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS LOST A LOVED ONE YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS.LOVE AND HUGS FRAN
lovinfran
when my sons funeral was over thats when the funeral home gave me his death certificate. until that day i didnt even know the exact time he left this world. as i looked at it and saw the words written down the pain that tore thru my heart was so awful. i know and feel your pain and i wish i could spare anyone the pain we have gone thru. just know we are all here for you.
much love and many hugs,
dylansmomdenise
DylansmomDenise
I know how you feel, it hit me like a mack truck too when I received my Mom's. It still doesn't seem real, it's like a bad dream that just goes on and on. I think we all - in some small part of our hearts - think this is not real, must be a mistake, they'll come back. I hope your therapy brings you some comfort, take one day at a time, it's all any of us can do. Be well girl, I love you!
BJT