PAMMILL's Journal

So, 2 weeks from today we are scheduled for the c-section.  By this time in 2 weeks we will  be able to hold baby Rhiannon.  I can't believe pregnancy is almost over.  It seems like it went so darn fast after trying for so long. 

It is kinda bitter sweet for me.  I really liked being pregnant even with some of the not so fun side effects (carpel tunnel) but I am ready to meet our new addition.  I am nervous that my hormone levels will change and I will go back to getting regular migraines.  I really haven't had one since the 1st trimester and it has been nice.  I need to talk to the OB about this at my next appointment. 

As far as how I am feeling physically, just extremely tired and swollen, but otherwise I really can't complain.  I have been able to go home after work and put my feet up and relax for the most part. 

I am going to meet a home child care provider after work tonight.  I am nervous about this as I know I am going to be a wreck when I have to go back to work.  This woman seemed extremely nice over the phone and most of the kids she watches are teachers children, so I think the references will be good.  She wants  to treat the childcare more like a preschool (educational - which is good) and her mom will be helping her with the 4 other kids she will have in the fall.  I feel really good about this but I don't have the cost yet.  My mom is going to watch her 2 days a week and the sitter will only be 3 days a week.    If I really need to or want to, since I work for my dad, I can bring the baby to work. 

Right now, my biggest stress is money.  I know nobody waits until they can afford to have kids to do it, but I feel like we keep falling behind and we cannot seem to make a big dent in our credit card.  There are going to be new expenses and Brian and I have to sit down and really budget things out and make the necessary changes for me not to feel so challenged by this.  He keeps telling me we will figure it  out and all will be fine.  I would like to see that, rather than hear that to ease my mind.  Hospital bills are going to be coming as well as daycare, baby stuff, etc on top of our current bills and nothing seems to be getting cheaper!!!!  Brian is carpooling to work, so I think that is helping with the gasoline situation, but we really need to sit down and figure it all out.

Well, I know the worrying is not good for me, so I am trying to let go as much as I can.  I need to rely on Brian to help figure this out and remember that i am not alone in this.

Hope everyone is doing well and keeping cool!!!  It is the 4th day in a row for us at  90 degrees....!!! :)

Pam