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Ok, Lately i have been having anger issues. my mom couldnt take it so she put me in a clinic. i got out the same day as thanksgiving. it broke my heart to see all the girls and the the children couldnt spend thanksgiving in an anger clinic. so, when i got out my system was all fucked up. i havent eaten right in 2 weeks sometime nothing at all do to the crappy food they served us at the clinic.I've been having cotton mouth lately. constantly thirsty. since they gave us thoose little small kinder-garden juice-boxes. tired as hell since thoose cotts they made you sleep on fucking sucked made your body fucking ache.
So my mom and i are trying to follow the rule book hopefully it all works out ok.
mom is going out on a date tonite. and to be honest, im not so used to her dating. i mean, for the longest time. its been her me and my brother. im just not so use to it. i mean...i could understand if i had been adjusted to it at such a young age. but.i havent. so, shes been dating this guy mike for 2, 3 weeks now. he is going to a wedding soon...and i dont think it would be right for her to go....she'd be gone for a whole weekend. they see each other now and then....but, is iw just me..or am i going way-above-and beyond? am i freaking out over nothing? i need help. i cant talk to her about it. when i do, the words come out wrong. id be better of talking to a crab, then to her. and my family tells me to get off her case, that i wrry toooo much. im srry. but shes mom. it would be the other way around, she'd freak out. so how is it wrong for a daughter to think about her mom, when the mom has all writes to wrry about the daughter?
i need advice. plz help!!!!!
Today was a bad day. i had taken one of my pain pills after lunch in 3rd period, for my arms. by 4th period we had an unscheduled fire alarm. the pill made me groggy, plus a combination of the heat...i felt like i couldn't move. like i had a seizure just standing up, but i didnt. i felt disy and sick to my stomach. when we got into the classroom, i was white as a ghost. i broke out crying hysterically. i thought "Bad day for me, Great!...Oh my god, why wont this go away. my doctors tell me i shouldnt mix strees and preasure from school together. she says it'll cause a g-mal seizure. i dont know how to stay calm. this is my last year. my important year. im behind on 3 important classes. theres good news and bad news. good-im finally doing good in skool. not that i wasnt before..but now im top of everything. teacher asks a question...i have the anwser. super, huh?...bad news is All my friends are pretty much dealing with someone like me. their tired of dealing with a gurl that has seizures. i dont blame them. i would be a bitt tired of me too, if i was in their shoes. but it doesnt mean that i would give him/ or her the could shoulder. that just hurts even worse. im also having a bitt trouble at home. my moms single and shes dating again and it makes me...mad/jellos. its ALWAYS been me, her, and my brother. guess im uptight about her dating. i have to keep reminding myself in the head..."she's an adult. im the child. i dont want her to be alone for the rest of her life"..hell, i barely want to leave her when skool starts....college i mean. im in just so many knots that i dont know which way to go to get untangled.
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| August 2007 |
Thursday, 8/16
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Monday, 8/13
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Sunday, 8/12
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