aposey's Journal

I made it to my homegroup last night!!! Mood

Saturday, July 5, 2008 | A Positive story

I've been isolating forever, in this apartment 24/7, with the exception of when I've had to go to appointments, or the grocery store. I'm in pain almost always, and my dystonia has really been going wild; my whole body (including my head) moves this way, & that. I'm very embarrassed to go out into the "public eye" most of the time, as I feel so self-conscious. My condition has only been this bad less than two years, so I've not yet had a chance to "grow accustomed" to it. Also, a few of my friends are gravely ill, and are in the hospital, or nursing facilities, until they can go back to the hospital, and I've been very depressed. But, I've gotten some good sleep for the past couple of nights, my mood has lifted, and I've gotten a whole lot of encouragement from many members of one of my online support groups to just GO to my 12-Step support group. I have been hesitant to go, because, by the time it meets, my movement-disorder is especially out-of-hand, I'm usually unable to listen, or to share; the pain, etc., is so distracting, I'm worried that I'm a distraction to the meeting, to other group members, & again, I feel embarrassed. But, I was determined to make it to last night's meeting, which was my homegroup, for I knew I had to remain willing to "go to any length to get, & to keep, what that program has given me. Once I got there, it was a relatively small gathering of familiar faces, who were all happy to see me. I was able to listen, and to share, as we each went around the table, &, one by one, shared about gratitude. I was, & still am, so filled with gratitude. I am hoping to be able to go to the Sunday night meeting, & I think (well, this is a "hopefully," too) that I will be able to go to the same meeting, next Friday night. Right now, I'm thanking my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.

UPDATED GOALS

stay quit

85 days smoke free

Encouragements: 2

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Hi, Aposey, Are you seeing a Neurologist for your Dystonia? Are you receiving any Botox injections? If I were not going through these steps, my head would be pulling down to my chest, and when I go to bed at night, most of my neck muscles and shoulder muscles go into spasms, and I'm unable to sleep without a non-narcotic, non-habit forming sleeping medication prescribed by my Neurologist. Your "Higher Power" is our God, as revealed in His Son, Jesus. Do you have a Bible? You can find great comfort in John 3:16, and many Psalms- like Ps. 91. I'm glad you're going to a support group. I don't have one nearby where I live. Would like to get one started, but so far, have met "dead ends." Will be thinking of you! Love, BJ

BJDean
I am so excited for you! I tried to send you a hug numerous times, but they are not working. I hope you can go to the Sunday meeting too. I will pray for that. I can feel your gratitude in your message. I was very uplifting. HORRAY FOR ALEXIS!!! ((hugs))SANDRA

Meekacat
Your attitude is so inspiring! Thanks for being a ray of light to all you encounter~Peace,Katie

asadheart