reptilemom's Journal

Journal Entry for May 14, 2008 Mood

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

ED still has his long claws embedded deep in me. I'm really srtuggling with eating, and my lack of it is causing physical symptoms which I know could mean that my body has had enough. I can't stand being like this, I wish there was some magic cure, but as of now, one does not exist. I'm tired and weary, my emotions are all over the map...my heart is constantly beating so fast....I'm fainting from the drop in blood pressure. I don't want to die, but my will to live does not seem to be enough to stop ED in his tracks. I need to be well for my family...my beautiful children who mean the world to me.

I need help so badly....

UPDATED GOALS

beat my eating disorder

Progress 0%

Encouragements: 2

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Comments

I wish you would admit yourself to a hospital. If you can't do that which I totally understand, somebody will do it for you, next time you pass out in public or your kids will have to call 911. My brother(a medical doctor) told me once: You might as well walk into a hospital with dignity instead of being brought in on a stretcher. Tough love.

Karrin
is there anyone you can go to? a doctor or someone? can you force yourself to get enough nourishment, if not for you, then for your family and children?

sophie09
i had to be so blunt - but you see the signs and you are crying out for help - you need to help yourself, no one can help you until you take that step. What Karrin says is right - walk in with dignity and you will leave with life - go in on a stretcher and you may leave in a coffin. you can't keep this up, you may not realize it, but you are destroying not only yourself, but your children. Good luck to you, this website is great for support - but you can't help those who aren't willing to help themselves - again, sorry for the bluntness but you need to get a grasp on reality before you find yourself in a grave and your child facing struggles they will have a hard time dealing with - Bless you, May God guide you thru your tough journey -

Carebear64