SaraHatesDope's Journal

Oh god, i don't even know where to start. I am feeling like total shit each and everyday. i can't sleep right at night. i have crazy dreams about drugs. i feel like im on the verge of a relapse and sometimes i just wanna die. just plain die. i won't lie. that rhymed.

it's just the feeling of not knowing what is going to happen and thinking that only negative things are going to happen that is driving me crazy. i am so sad. so depressed. and have no incentive to change anything because i havent been giving a shit. i just dont care about my life half the time. and i know thats horrible to say but i dont know how to change that. i thought i could a few months ago. i thought i could do anything i set my mind to. but apparently it's like, 90 times harder to do than i orginally thought. and knowing that it's this hard, makes me want to just give up and not to anything to fix myself. sometimes i think i am most comfortable in my misery. but at the same time, i fucking hate it. so i dont even know what to do anymore.

i'm lost.