Mike40's Journal

The furniture store is supposed to come tomorrow between 9 and 1 to bring the furniture I bought. I still have to buy a bunch of things but I will at least have a bed in my new house.  YEAH! I have a great comfortor (light colored paisley) and some nice 800 count sheets. Today I bought a nice computer and 22 inch flat screen monitor and a good printer. The girls love the new house and when we get some furniture it will really feel like home.

Me and my monkeys had lots of fun today.  We picked up a pizza and went back to the house and got a movie on pay per view. When the movie was over...WE DANCED!  I had so much fun with them. We made up some dance moves and practiced and just danced around the house. I don't have any curtains yet (or music) so I'm sure someone must have seen us and been a bit puzzled. After we danced we kicked a small empty gatoraide bottle around the house playing gatoraide soccer, the girls against me.  We all laughed real hard and just had a fun time.

Tomorrow afternoon my friend is coming with his wife to help move the last of the big things I couldn't move by myself. Then all I have is one more small trip to the joint home and then at the end of the month she is changing the locks and I will not be allowed in and the relationship will be totally terminated. I will not have to deal with her as I have for the past two and a half years sharing the same house.  I also think it will be better on the girls because the stress level will be so much less than it has been.

Hope everyone is doing great! Remember to hug your kids if you got em!

8/18/08 Monday evening

Well things are somewhat normal these days. It's been almost 2 months since my last journal.

I spent a few weeks on active duty flying back and forth to the carrier and really had a good time. That is probably my last 2 week stint before I retire from the navy next May.

I just got back from a one week vacation in up state New York. I was near Lake George and Lake Champaigne at a place called Sheltered Lakes. My family have been going there for over 60 years for reunions. I have been bad and had not been back for over 30 years because life had taken me to all reaches of the planet and the timing never worked out. This place has not changed since I was a kid. A beautiful lake filled with lake trout and bass high up in the mountains. No TV's, radios, phones or internet. It was relaxing. I really enjoyed seeing all my cousins and family.  Came back to civilization to find a tropical storm at my doorstep tonight and almost 1000 emails from work to catch up on.

I closed on my house. Was supposed to be the first of August but my X deposited my 401k check into her account and the bank froze the assets for a few days to get the money to me where it belonged. I closed on the third. It is a nice house. Doesn't have much furniture yet but it's getting there. The kids love it and have friends right in the neighborhood.

I pretty much ignore my X. There is nothing much left between us and it eats her up that she has no control of my life anymore.  She is happy, been dating the same guy for a few months now and pretty much I don't see her.

Financially is a little difficult now with a big house payment and two kids on my own but I should be better off in a few months when I catch up on things.

Overall, starting to feel like a new life has begun and the rainbows are out there.  Tonight I played some board games with my girls and tucked them in. I'm taking tomorrow off to be with them (school was cancelled due to the storm). We will move some more stuff to the new house and we will play and be a family, the new traditional family of daddy and his monkeys.

I find I keep meeting girls. I am pretty outgoing and enjoy dating but still pretty guarded. It's seems women are much more aggresive past thirty than they were back 18 years ago when I used to date.  I have met some real wonderful girls and find that I prefer to date girls that have kids. I understand what they are going through and they can relate to me taking care of my girls.

My girls had their first day of school today. Hannah started the 4th grade and loves her teacher. She already had an ice cream party. Heather started 7th grade and both are so beautiful and balanced kids. I am so fortunate to have them.

I still read a lot of your journals and do a quick fly by now and then.  I recently read through all my journals. It documented a torrmented past two years and it's amazing to see the progression. As slow as it seemed and the times of utter dispare were evident but as with most things life goes on, you learn from your actions and you grow. I think I am a better person having gone through this (although I never want a repeat). I think I am a better father, friend and one day I will make a better spouse in my new life.

For the new folks, hang in there. I know it feels like you are drowning, broken and not going to make it but as some of the older folks on the site told me when I showed up, you will get through it. It is for the better....we all deserve the best that life has to offer and you will be there...it takes time, love and some great friends like I've found on this site.

As I always say, Hug your kids, love them unconditionally and let them know that you are there for them. They are the sparks of light in even the worst times and for them you will get through anything life can throw at you.

Hugs to all my friends and a heart felt thank you for holding my hand in this journey, without you I would be so much further behind. I love you guys.

Mike