Update for Everyone (WARNING MAYBE TRIGGERING)
June 21, 2008 7:22pm
Hey Everyone,
I'm back her writing again, i'm on overnight leave at the moment, so i thought i would come and give you all an update on …
Progress
20 %
unloveddevilchild’s Profile
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unloveddevilchild
is feeling Horrible
Is still in hospital & missing everyone, sending her love to you all"
Recently: 1 hug received more …
About Me
My names Rebecca but most people call me becka...I'm 15 and keep things to myself...for me its better to keep things locked away that way no-one can betray you and no-one will know. It also means i cant hurt anyone...i hate hurtin people apart from when they deserve it and start fights with me but thats it...I've hurt to many people some here on DS and my close friends. People call me lots of things e.g: Emo, Goth, Punk, Rock Chick...etc I think you get it now but i dont care because think what you will of me thats your choice not mine and i dont give two s**ts. No-one really knows me not the whole of me, well apart from me but even i dont think i know myself so how can anyone else possibly. I'm an atheist meaning i dont believe in God and thats just me others are different and thats fine just dont preach to me is all i gotta say.
Interests
My Saying: " Everyone who lives dies but not everyone who dies lives!!"
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Recent Activity
July 15
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unloveddevilchild changed their mood to Horrible 8:06am
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unloveddevilchild updated their status 8:06am
Is still in hospital & missing everyone, sending her love to you all"…
June 21
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unloveddevilchild commented on scaredandafraid’s photo/video 7:23pm
Your gawjus xoxox…
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unloveddevilchild wrote a journal entry updating their Get Better!! goal 7:22pm
Hey Everyone, I'm back her writing again, i'm on overnight leave at the moment, so i thought…
June 2
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unloveddevilchild gave hopeful0712 a Hug 4:06pm
Hey Aunty, I love you too so so MUCH MORE, Hope we get to talk today, will keep alook out for you. Thinking…
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Journal
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Hey EVERYONE!!!
June 14, 2008 11:20am
Hello Everyone,
I cant make this too long because i dont have alot of time.I've been in hospital for the past week and a half and thats why …
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
Passing by to see how you've been, hope that no weapon formed against you shall prosper... God's Love!
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Hug
i miss my becka :( xxx
Flower
Hope your feelinga lil bit better x
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Flower
thinking of you and hope we connect next time you are home. i really miss my becka!!! love you always hun, aunty xoxoxooxo
Hug
Its ordieswife, thinking of you...prayers and huge hugs..
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI've finally been clinically diagnosed. I found it really hard to go to the doctors but i have. I have been diagnosed with major depression but i could also have seasonal affective disorder. I started to feel really low and unhappy and worthless when i was 9 after i was r***d. And tryed several times to kill myself...I've tryed more time to kill myself than years i've been alive. But i've gotten worse over the last year.
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- Started: 19/03/08 (20mg) Want working for me and it was giving me tightness in chest and making it hard to breath and swallow so i've now been changed.
- Lexapro Too Soon to Tell
- Start on: 05/04/2008 (5mg) Dosage up to 10mg on 19/04/2008 Dosage up to 15mg on 26/04/2008
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Writing Not Working
- I've been writing in a journal for about a year now and it hasnt helped at all. How is it supposed to.
- Zoloft Not Working
- Started: 04/03/2008 (20mg) Didnt work got really bad side effects and they werent easing up so my psychiatrist changed me.
Close Self-Injury
I've been a self-injurer since i was 9 so thats 6 years. But i found out from doing research that i'd been self-harming since i was like 3. Because i would pick my scabs/cuts and stop them from healing but it wasnt till i was 6 that i would do it to see the blood and feel the pain.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- I've only just started (25/02/08 at 9:15am)
- Rubber Bands Not Working
- Tryed it but it didnt work
- Squeezing Ice Not Working
- Tryed this but it didnt work!
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Only friends though and really only 2 friends and the main one is my bestest friend Briar she's great.
Open Sexual Abuse
Again i was 9 and i dont want to say anything else right now
Treatments
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
Open Insomnia
I find it difficult to sleep at night and when i do finaly get to sleep its not for along period of time...But i've gotten used to it like i have to with everything else.
Treatments
- Lunesta Somewhat Helpful
- Been having this whilst in hospital and is helping abit but i still keep waking aleast 3times even with this.
- Music Not Working
- I love music but it doesnt help me sleep.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Only friends again...Doesnt change that i suffer from it though.
Open Rape
I was 9 and thats all i can really say right now.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Just Started (25/02/08 9:15am)
Open Pyromania
I like fire not sure why yeah i know the dangers of it but i like setting things alight...I used to set fires everyday in bins and parks and other places but havent done that in awhile but i still burn things like paper and i'll hold it in my hand till it burns my hand. I never did it to hurt anyone and no-one ever did get hurt.
Open Sleep Problems - Childhood
Type: InsomniaI suffer from insomnia although have not been diagnosed with it, I have really vivid dreams and i do get woken up by them alot,I have to sleep hugging my wall. I find it really difficult to get to sleep and when i finally do i dont stay asleep long.
Open Family & Friends of Cancer Patients
Cancer runs in my family on both sides. My mum had cancer and my grandma did i dont know any further than that but i think 1 of my aunties did and others. My dad has Cancer but doesnt know i know and i think his mum or dad has cancer. I'm at a high risk of developing cancer myself but we'll see.
Treatments
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Only Friends Again...I dont really talk about it coz it wont change the fact that my Dad is going to die of Cancer.
Open Phobia
I hate being watched and i'm afraid of losing the ones i love and their arnt many only afew, I dont like being in akward situations either and i hate people touching me mainly males but i have begun to get better with that, i also hate being on crowded trains or in a small space with lots of people i feel as if their taking all the air.
Open Families & Friends Of Addicts
both mum and dad are addicted to smoking...dad also addicted to alcohol...friend addicted to drugd mainly heroin. and afew more!
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
I can see the dirt, i need to get it off. Its still there, it wont come off. My hands have gone red raw but i can still see it. I have to constantly wash my hands, its horrible, all i can see is the dirt i can feel it too. People tell me theres nothing there but i can see it and feel it.
Treatments
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Been suffering with this since i was ***** (i still cant write it) at the age of 9.
Treatments
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- It helps me alittle sometimes it can calm me.
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
- Started: 04/03/08
Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Havent actually talked about this yet with whoever is going to continue counseling me.
Open Depression - Teen
Was diagnosed with server depression beginning of this year.
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- Started: 19/03/08 (20mg) Want working for me and it was giving me tightness in chest and making it hard to breath and swallow so i've now been changed.
- Lexapro Too Soon to Tell
- Start on: 05/04/2008 (5mg) Dosage up to 10mg on 19/04/2008 Dosage up to 15mg on 26/04/2008
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Start properly on May 7th 2008
- Zoloft Not Working
- Started: 04/03/2008 (20mg) Didnt work got really bad side effects and they werent easing up so my psychiatrist changed me.
Open Bisexuality
I'm pretty much 99% sure i'm Bi, i've fallen in Love for the first time and its with one of my close friends whos a girl, but i cant be 100% sure i am Bi until i go 1 step further and kiss a girl.
Open Gay & Lesbian Teens
I'm currently 16 and when i was 12 i had a crush on one of my friends (girl) i got really upset and pushed my feelings aside but now they've come back and i've fallen for another one of my friends who is Bi.
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