MARIENPAIN's Journal

I just don't know what to do with Aharon...His behavior just drives us nuts. Friday while our brother inlaw was visiting he decided to tell Tommy fuck you, all because he wanted him to walk Gracie Ann outside on her leash. He pulled hard on the lease when Tommy handed it to him, so Tommy got on to him about that. Then the fuck you. I was at work so I couldn't handle the situation. He got hot sauce in the mouth, which he hates and hasn't had for awhile. He gives him such attitude about EVERYTHING, I mean everything. Any time words are spoken to him from Tommy, he gives attitude and a smart mouth response. I got on to him the other day and made him look in the mirror at his ugle nasty look he was making, he didn't like havening to do that. After Tommy left for work Friday I had Aharon come out of his room and we had ANOTHER of our many many many talks about getting along and what's exspected of him, he friggin knows but chooses not to follow the rules. I caught him cussing and ranting and raving when he got into trouble the other day. He was in the bathroom getting ready fo his shower. I stood outside the door listening, I called him out on it. He was scared when he found out I had heard it all. I just talked to him. I would rather him do that than cuss at us. Hell we all need to vent even him. But he doesn't seem to get it yet that his behavior is the cause of his problems. So during our talk I asked him if he hates Tommy, he said no. I said you treat him like someone you would hate. Why? He won't give me a real reason. Just brings up Tommy's past drinking. I don't know how to help him get over all that. You'd think all the counceling would have but he doesn't really participate like he should. Guess I will talk to Dr Rich about this again. I also explained to Aharon about Tommy's bipolar. I hadn't told Aharon up to this point. But I felt he needed some explanation so I did. He had heard it mentioned during therapy but I never talked to him about it. He asked a few good questions. I also told him that they are both so much alike that he should cut Tommy a break and quit giving him shit. Not sure it's helping, but I haven't given up yet. I also talked to him about when he wants money or things how he has to get them from us and he would be more than likely to get them IF he was behaving at home. Also told him if his behavior keeps up there will be no driving. I can't and won't let him behind the wheel until he is mature enough and responsible, which might not come until he moves out. I know we still have a couple years till that time, but I am trying to tell him how his behavior will impact his life, and not in a good way. I also asked him if he's trying to get Tommy to leave or testing him to see if he would leave. I talked to Aharon about that and he said he doesn't want him to leave but he's affraid he will because he said he is when we argue. But like I told him everyone says things they don't mean when mad, he does. I think Aharon is affraid Tommy will leave him like David did, and it scares him. But like I told him Tommy has always had a choice to not be apart of our lives and even with all the bull we've put him though he's STILL here, that should show him something.  He asked questions about David again and looked at his picture in my yearbook, thought he looked like a DORK! That made me laugh, he's not far from the truth! haha! I also told Aharon that we are ALL suppose to be trying here, not just momma. It's gonna take him working too. I just don't get that kid. He treats Tommy like crap but still wants him to go places and do things with him.......I don't understand it......