is feeling OK
I am strong. I am Woman. I am emotion. I am Myself.
Recently: 15 hugs given, 10 hugs received more …
I have been on this site for one year now and I have discovered many underlying issues in my life since then. I know more than ever about my sexual abuse, how it wasn't my fault, more about my depression that leans heavily on bi polar and codependency disorders. I have lost more family members and friends to death and have discovered some of the ins and outs involving first loves. I am older, I am wiser and I am happier. Occasionally I struggle with bad days, but nothing like what I used to experience when I first started coming to this site for support. I want to thank all of my closest friends on here--you know who you are and you have helped me more than words can express. I carry you in my heart wherever I go. I love you. And I love life.
September 2, 2008 1:29pm
I've been at the shelter a week and a day now. I went in last Monday a scared, nervous, determined woman. I am sorry I haven't written sooner …
August 25, 2008 3:52pm
Ophelia is the best person I know. She may act tough, she may be tough, but the fact of the matter is, she is a sweetheart to people she loves. I …
August 24, 2008 9:25pm
I just found out that I have 4 months to get my act together. The domestic violence women's shelter is only funded to where they can help you for …
things are good. Been very busy and havent been feelin so hot lately, but lifes good. Started a new job last Tuesday....doing email marketing for the auto industry....in training for it for about a month, but its fun and interesting....whats new?
Yeah, I love it there. My favorite place.. well one of them anyway is pier 39
have a great day :)
It was amazing! I loved the weather there! It is so hot here, and there it was nice and cool. I loved it! Very pretty too.
Hey im doing good. Woke up early this morning and now cant get back to sleep. Things are OK here. Nothing too exciting. I hope your doing well. Well ill talk with you later. Hugs
Progress
25 %
12 yrs is enough and I think I may be making some progress in this area finally :)
Been phy. abuse to me occurs, leaves its lasting impression and then goes. Being emotionally abused leaves scars for years that no one can see.
I'm codependent on women who want nothing to do with me either to start with or later on. It makes life hard.
A long process..There's telling the people you are close to, the rest of your family and friends and then the public... then dating... i haven't face to face dated a woman and been with her in public, but that doesn't mean that I won't. once i get to that point. once i find a special one to spend time with.
I don't know that I want anything to do with guys anymore/less. They just piss me off.
Between Oct. 06 and June 08 I have lost more family members and friends than you can count on one friend. Its about finding what way of grieving works best for you and handling it; that is what I have found.
Mostly I get angry with myself.
I have been sexually abused twice and the sexual abuse community says that it was "rape" but I have a problem seeing it that way when any person I have really loved who has been raped it has been when a male enters a female with his organ. So.... I don't believe that is what happened to me. And now I am being sexually harassed by a friend to an extent where my own parents just say ignore it because it can't really be more than a joke and they don't want to lose their friends. UGH.
Nov. 07 I just found out that I have Bi Polar.
I have at one time or another struggled with both suicide and cutting. Bi Polar is an evil illness that attacks my mind and makes me say and do crazy things sometimes... But I have not seriously injured myself by cutting deep. Only once or twice superficially made attempts at it. Suicide is another matter of which I have attempted before.
I am over her at long last. This time its for real. I can feel it. I am ready to love again and love someone else, not her. I am happy for her in her new relationship and even talked to her new someone. I could be friends with her, if she wants to be friends with me.
I have it. I'm a lucky one though. I walk.
I'm only 20+ pounds overweight but its been extremely hard for me to lose what I need to lose to look and feel healthy.
I just got kicked off my dad's land, have yet to find another place to live and am crashing at my best friend's pad for a few days. i have to find another way to go soon; she can't support my ass forever.
