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AJ1's Journal

Journal Entry for January 14, 2008 Mood

Monday, January 14, 2008

Everything Has Gone So Wrong!!!!!

I was physically and sexually assaulted a few days ago by my mother now I have been in a meeting where I was told that I had the home number of a member staff who is my keyworker who they think I will ring it, so she has to change her number. sorry but this is abit extreme has a few months ago another resident found out the address of a member of staff andthat member ofstaff was not told to relocate rather the resident was told if they ever tried to contact that staff member they would be evicted, why could they not do this this time round has this is going to inconvience this member of staff and her daughter.

I tell you now I honestly did not know that was her number yes I knew it was a member of staffs and due to this fact I was never going to call it which I have not even though I have known it for over six months, now keyworker is going to be really mad at me and I dont need this right now when I so need support from her.

But due to this keyworker will not trust me and keep her distance so when I need support to deal with this assault I am going to have to deal with it myself as no one in this place will trust me now. this has so been blown out of proportion.

I just dont know what to do? I did not need this as well right now? maybe my mother is right about me being nothing but a burden.

also told to get my house spotless by manager for room inspection tomorrow, but my house always reflects my mood and if i am not feeling great like now why do i have to put a front that allis well in my world?

I did not want to lose the trust of my keyworker. I feel all alone, also manager has aken all sharp objects away from me and told me I must not self harm, or drink, as will be in trouble. well what can i do i have just been through a difficult experience i most likely can now not talk to my keyworker and now i am being told i can not self harm or drink well lets take all my coping things away from me, how wonderful

Hug AJ1

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Comments

Oh hunni i am sorry that things are so tough
Here if you need to talk
xxx

ScaredandScarred
i am so sorry that things have been rough for you. i really do hope things work out for you. i wish you all the luck in the world. i am here for you!!!

mindy027
You are going trough a really tough time AJ1-but you are doing so well.Is there anyone else apart from your keyworker who you can talk to about what you have been through recently?That manager really needs sorting out-he is putting additional stress and pressure on you at a time when you really need support.We are all here for you though.Take care and thinking of you,Love Lydia xx

nebel
I totally agree with nebel, is there anyone else you can trust to talk with about this manager? I am soooooo sorry your going thru such a rough and troubled time. We are here for you totally.
love ya and hugs,
terri

terri44
Terribly sorry to read you're going through so much drama. Its heartbreaking. I wish I something more tangible to offer you, but for what it's worth take heart that we're here for you albeit online.

Good luck and godspeed, sweetheart.
Jennifer

BogotaBoundB440
hunny so sorry r u able to talk with us ?

C4O
i know how that feels having the things that help you cope taken away, or feeling alone, but your not, if you need to talk to someone im here and it seems you have so many people here to talk to too and to let you know, it will only last for a season, its gonna be ok :) i know its easy for me to tell you that, but it will be watch and see, just hold on to the hope thats there, small as it may be HUGZ!

crzyglu
im so sorry hun im here if you ever need to talk xx

scaredamy
honestly i wish i could confront your mother because if this is going on she needs to be jailed.

tarzandan
i agree with everyone here..you are going through so much right now. is it possible to talk with this manager and explain to her what happened...i hope so...give yourself some time to calm down and have you reported you mother?

jannis
This sounds terrible....I'm so sorry for you. I hope things start turning around for the best, for you. Wow...this really bites.

We love you...if ever you need to talk....we're all here for you. *hugs* Take care of yourself.

caspermonster
I'm really sorry...I know how hard it is when people try and take away things you feel like you need to deal with life. Are you safe from your mom now?

Person913
hi AJ sorry everything seems to be so bad, I hope you manage to get some help and you and key worker can fix this, thinking of you , sending big hug, liz x

elk1000ok
Gosh I am so sorry you had to go through this horrible thing. You are in my prayers for proctection and that you will be safe!

sunshinerose
thats awful what is happening to you i will pray for you

angelrv61
Sorry to hear about your situation Im certain that its rough on you. It seems like when your at your lowest there is always someone to kick ya. Just please know that your not as alone as you may feel, if you want to talk I WILL make myself available.

benton1
fucking mole of a mum she is hun!!! man i would love to grab her flippin' neck and ring the blooody thing...how dare she continue to treat you like this the f@@@@@#$$ Bi4555483 arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

ok hun i am going to try ringing you again ok!

mumofthree