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I am having a really hard time right now about a month ago one of my best friends in the world who was like a sister to me was murdered on a night out since then I have done my best to deal with the array of emotions that have come up with losing my friend, also on top of this we have had the funeral, a doctor who has nothing to do with me has had a right go at me for nothing at all, I found out my mother betrayed me again and a friend is angry at me because I have not seen them recently. also in a few weeks time it is the anniversery of my fiancees death
If this was not enough to deal with alll the emotions I have begun to drink and the member of staff here tell me that I have not been drinking (I think I should know if I have been drinking or not) that I am just showing off that I am faking how I am, that I am lying and I am acting childish.
When I tried to speak to the member of staff later on in the evening she went further in saying that I dont seem happy in this place, that I complain about all the members of staff (but with anyone there will be bits we like about them and bits we dont and I do also say really nice things about these members of staff at other times) that I require more support then this place can offer and I play up to certain members of staff
I could not believe what I was hearing is it not enough that I have lost one of my best friends in the world at this time and that I am struggling coming to terms with it, why does everyone see that this would be a good time to attack me and put so much more on me and also hint at I could lose my place here because I am upset at times at the moment (I think I have a right to be upset at recent events, dont I?)
I just feel so upset, confused, dont know who I can trust in this time, so want support yet not sure who I can turn to for it, or even what I should do in this time, whether it is wrong to be upset about my friend dying.
Anyone any answers???????????????????
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hello, well i know how you feel when it comes to losing a loved one. Since january of 2007 until febuary 2008 I have lost 3 people I cared for and loved very much. in jan 07 I lost a close friend who was hit by a truck as she was walking down the sidewalk and in sept 2007 I suddenly lost my mom who was my rock and I was very close to her and in feb 08 I lost my grandma. I know how you feel and there is no quick way or easy way to cope with death of a loved one except to take time working through it and this is different for each individual. I have dealt with alot in the past year with 3 people dying and my son being sexually abused I cant figure out how I am even functioning today. All I keep telling myself is I have to live life to the fullest because you never know how long you have and to cherish each day and live as if it is the last. I miss my friend and my mom and grandma very much but what hurts the most is the loss of my mom and I am having a very hard time with the loss but I just take it 1 day at a time and for the days when I am having the hardest time I take it 1 hour at a time. That ia all you can do really. Falling apart and not living your life isnt going to help you and it wont bring them back and they would want you to be happy. Are you in therapy? If not you may want to go and check that out and medication can help as well, I am doing both and I have noticed a big difference. I hope everything works out for you. Take care.
teri01976