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Well, here's a first entry then :) I think a journal could definitely be of some help...
Doing alright today, but the beginning of the weekend has been though. Lots of things are going on: just recently moved to a new country for some time, a long-term, long-distance relationship has become a new, face-to-face one... This of course adds up all the stress of wanting to look your best, then doubting yourself in every possible way... Physically, mentally, it's so very draining. Am I looking alright, how interesting is my conversation, am I fun to be with?
I guess this would sky-rocket any naturally insecure girl's stress level, for real. Yet because things were not angsty enough already, I had to get face to face with an old enemy: depression. There's no mistaking it: I know how I had been in the past, and knows how I am now. It doesn't help that the homesickness and slight feeling of isolation is kicking in as well. It's just all very overwhelming.
I don't quite know what to do to make it go away! I decided to start drawing again, it gives me a bit of a momentarily challenge as I stare down at the blank page, a sense of achievement once it's all over. I have a bit of a story at the back of my head, I might give it some more thoughts eventually. Right now I'm thinking a nice walk in the sun would be quite enjoyable.
Meh, that's another thing. I get really excited once I get an idea that lifts my mood ever so slightly: then when it comes down to it, I always end up deceived, as if the activity itself did not live up to my expectations. This is becoming really annoying, though I knew it would happen: I'm just not into things I love so much anymore. I mean I still enjoy them, but not like I should...
Ah, anyways, a walk in the sun sounds okay for now.
Kuann xox
