Xtina83’s Profile

About Me

I am a compassionate female. I enjoy nature's beauty, being outdoors, animals, art, music, singing, and my two nieces who I love dearly. It takes a lot for me to trust people anymore... I've been hurt to many times. I want to be that green smiley face again...I miss those days. I am 24 y/o F who has suffered from depression ever since childhood. I was the fat ugly kid in the class. I didn’t have many friends growing up. I was pretty much all alone. I have had low self-esteem my whole life. After high school I kind of blossomed into a beautiful lady (so they say) I of course don’t feel this way. I’m still some what overweight with a pretty face. I’m still battling that damn devil (weight). A few years ago right out of high school as I was blossoming I began to act out and party (drink alcohol) and act promiscuously. The guys started to notice that I wasn’t the ugly fat kid anymore and I loved the attention. My actions carried on for over a year or two, then I met the worst thing ever. His nickname is cross-eyed. Please don’t ask why, but I fell hard for this 30 year old immature loser. He played with my head so bad it was like teasing a kid with candy. He of course took something very special away from me especially when you’ve kept it for 22 years. After 7 months of finally realizing that he wasn’t that into me and I was just a piece of meat I started giving up on him, but it still went on for some time. We tried the whole friend’s thing, but that wasn’t working for me there were still feelings there. It didn’t help either by him acting interested again and leading me on enough for me to make-out w/ him and then come to find out two nights later that he had a girlfriend for a couple of months. What an asshole!! Well I’ve learn my lesson from everything that had happen between he and I. It’s been a hard road to come off of and there’s still not a day that goes’s by that the ass doesn’t cross my mind. I’m still battling depression as I struggle with finical debt, paranoia and low self-esteem nothing seems to really work for me. I still live at home with my mother and one of my older sister’s. I am NOT happy at home. I’m pretty much stuck for now. I work at a marketing firm full-time and an animal hospital part-time. I’m also a graphic design student. Much of my relationship with my family has gone down hill the past year. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I use to be some what active until the past year and a half. All I really do is work and sleep. I can’t get myself to do anything. My family hates me because of this. I don’t mean to be like this, it’s just that I’m sinking into deeper depression. I hate who I am and become. I am Christina, one unhappy SOB.

Interests

Outdoors, singing, music, dancing, animals, boating, moter bikes, 4 wheeling, movies, concerts, and art.