jax1991's Journal

so i had orientation today. it was just filling out papers saying  wouldn't come in high pretty much. that i showed up clean, and rules and such. and uniforms. so all that for about an hour!!

before that i went on a search for working papers. we went to town hall since i'm home schooled..... so then they told me to go to this other building, and i got them. now i want some sweet stuff...... and i played some Wii today...thats about it. now the manager is gunna call me  tomorrow to set up a training day.

last night i watched a PBS thing about depression. it was kinda hard to watch. everytime the parents recognized their children's symptoms and did everything to help them it ached my heart. i later went to my room and cried.

i still can't get over my parents divorce. it's been almost 10 months since i've recieved the news. then right after my world spiraled hard core out of control.....it was really bad. i was seriously doing bad. once i was tipped off by the furniture people about the divorce things were sooo horrible. (in our family, buying furniture was a BIG deal so the fact i didn't hear ANYTHING about it was a huge red flag) before we got our couch, we talked about it like for 3 months.

but then again, i shoud have seen it coming. when i confronted mom about it she was sooo vague. and in my family, when someone is being that vague their hiding something. and 3 or so months before that mom stopped by her best friend's house to look at furniture...once again, she was being vague again.

and when i found out.....i couldn't even talk to the siblings. david didn't find out until later. it was before jen's graduation so mom and dad didn't want to spoil it.

and then mom moved out when i was away.....maybe for the better, i couldn't have dealt with it while i was there. she is literally the queen of bad timing.

when will i ever get over this? will the pain ever end? can i ever be ok with seeing bad parents on tv???