Journal Entry for November 26, 2007
Scared of going back to work
I have been out of work since February 2003 after a mental break down due to bullying and being in an abusive …
is feeling Bad
I am 36 years old from the UK, I am currently unemployed after having a break down at work I suffer with depression and BPD. My passions in life is going to the gym, keeping fit, building muscle. I am single too
Going to the gym Working on the computer, investing and finding free advertising and promoting Love making new friends
Scared of going back to work
I have been out of work since February 2003 after a mental break down due to bullying and being in an abusive …
I Escaped...
It seems like a lifetime away now, someone else's life, I have put the past finally where it deserves to be. The future is all …
Sunday 29th July, 00.51 GMT
I can no longer write in my daily personal diary, it's a great shame but after my housemate went into my bedroom …
19th July, 10.42 GMT London
Went out last night, I don't go out often, probably once every three weeks into London, I hate London it's …
18th July, 10.21 GMT
Lovely and peaceful in the house, he's at work! Off to the gym for a couple of hours later, then I'm off into the …
Buck up fella. . .you're good looking, fairly fit, and obviously have a mind that works. Half the battle's won already. How're things going now days? You've not written for some time. Be well and be happy :)
Feeling the pains of the first anniversary of Mom's death...much love and light to you, my friend...
doing good..thanks..i hope all is well with you and that ur weekend is off to a great start tc tom
keep pushing forward, get in touch if you want to chat marty
Hi: I hope you are doing ok.
I had a mental breakdown from work in 2003, I just couldn't cope, I have had two mentally abusive relationships, I was diagnozed with both depression and BPD. I feel trapped and sometimes I just hate life so much, there is no point in going on, I want to escape, but I'm like a bird trapped in a small cage. I have no confidence or self-esteem they have been sucked out of me by my two relationships, I still live with my ex and that is adding to my depression. I hate the way I am, the way I feel
I have an underactive thyroid as well as depression the two probably go together, and I have to take thyroxine for the rest of my life. It plays havoc with my life and even tho' the levels are fine I still have problems with being tired and yawning all the time, feeling lethargic and weight gain.
After having two emotional mentally abusive relationships I have been put off relationships for life! I put up so many defences and barbed wire around my heart, men see me as vulnerable easily manipulated and easy to bully. I have been trapped twice and it has made me hate the way I am, I hate being gay because it has taken away 9 years of my life being trapped with men who have sucked away my confidence, self-esteem and love for life like a vampire
For years now I have been going toilet (wee) far too often. It's like I'll go and then about ten minutes later I want to go again