So I bought a lovely shirt. My …
So I bought a lovely shirt. My legs will remain under wraps. It doesn't make me look like a skeleton, which is …
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I saw the shrink, and there's good news and bad news. Good: I don't have bulimia any more!! Bad news: I have anorexia. No more denial;she said the word. I also have depression and need to watch my drinking, so no big surprises there. Mike forgot I went and hasn't asked me how I got on, which stung. He's full of his trips abroad and setting up a new project.
I bought a new wedding ring from Argos on the way back from the shrink's : £9.99!! Bargain! My other ring falls off when I wash my hands, and I don't want to lose it. So I have one month to gain weight, or it's off to the ED clinic for me. I have a good plan that I made with her, and it's not hugely threatening, so it's all good.
I got home to find the boys had watched "Signs", the spooky alien film, and were making replica foil hats with pointy bits to protect them from alien invasion and embarrass Jonny when he gets home from school. Dan made a long spike and attached 2 balls (sigh) and Ben looked like some kind of perverted Tellytubby with a big loop on the top. When Jonny came around the corner, accompanied by a gaggle of friends, they leapt out of the door. Dan had modified his and taped a handful of matches to the top which Ben set alight. Jonny looked so stunned, ashamed, then resigned as his little friends all wet themselves laughing and Dan's fire fell off and landed on his trainers. I love my boys.
Today is the school May Fair, for which I have been sewing bags and aprons. It's cold, and looks overcast, but I know people will still come. I just hope they buy a bag!! I'm really nervous I'm going to come home with everything I took, and be embarrassed. Ben has offered to be my security, and tried on his "costume" yesterday. Black trousers, black hoodie and ... black balaklava. I suggested he lose the head gear as people might think I was raising money for Osama Bin Laden.
I feel like I've let everyone down being anorexic at the ridiculous age of 40. What a load of bollocks.
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Well, you have plenty of company on here in that. Forty and way beyond! SIGH!
Guess you'll have to get some more foil now! Pictures please?????
God luck at the fair!
beiceth
I went IP for anorexia. I was 44. Does that help you feel not so ridiculous Julia? There I was with all these young girls who complained about their mean parents and buttered their toast 100 times before they didn't eat their toast. I felt for those kids. They were me. What a load of bullocks, couldn't have said it better, even though I don't know what bullocks are. I was diagnosed actually with EDNOS. My story is complicated, as many of us are. I just starved for a cause, like the woman who went up in the tree and wouldn't come down or eat for 45 days to save an owl. I thought I could control everyone around me if I didn't eat. I never even wanted to be thin, even though I am and probably always will be. Weird. I'm a strange one. Welcome to "club crazy" and I hope you're always my friend. You keep me laughing, the stories! I know you laughed at Dan and Ben. Keep laughing, or cry. Either of the two is fine. XO
Gabrador
Just wanted to say I love the pic once again. You haven't let anyone down. I don't know why people say that when they get afflicted with something not of their choosing. The main thing is you are taking positive steps to overcome. Love the creativity with the kids. Miss mine being young and silly like that. Can be such a hoot at times. Have a great weekend.
Nanoe
hey u, i would love to peek in at ur life just for a sec as it is always full of fun mania squabbles and love!!! even the shit times end up bringing u all closer, well done on the bags, i h8 school fair time i think ours is due soon but thanks to ebay and amazon theres nothin left to give, and they did far too well out of me last year wen i was manic lol keep up being great and good luck with the weight, xxxxx
mitchalez
Being so honest with this group is not something you need to apologize for. I'm fighting just the opposite right now. I've always been thin, the last few months my appetite has grown huge and it's starting to show. I'll fight mine if you'll fight yours :)
NewView
do you know, I love reading your journals- especially the bits about your boys. I know you have such a struggle with them but you seem always to have so much fun and love.... and well I just really enjoy it emensely....
I think its great that you have worked out a plan with your shrink that is non-threatening and you think you can work with it!! That is such an important thing!! You know, try not to beat yourself for your issues... all adults at all ages have various issues- the key thing here is that you are facing them and taking them head on!
IrishStorm
Hey!! Have fun at the school fair...I hope it goes well. If you want some quick weight gain....I am sorry to say...I have some ideas!!! LOL....I had that challenge years ago....a lot of it is metabolism....it can be manipulated...gaining is easier than losing.
I also love your stories about your boys. Cracks me up all the time. If my boys get together with your boys, none of us would ever be the same. Mine are adventurous too, plus destructive, dangerous, they torture each other & love each other at the same time. I bet they will all be fine men.
Nee123
Im glad you know and are not in denial about you ed anymore! Now you can begin to recover! I am excited for you future! You are so awesome!
sera20
glad u finally getting the ed sorted and i love hearing about ur lads! they have wicked sense of humour!
winny
Try the ridiculous age of 45. Love you.
clutteryermind