Juice's Journal

Keeping my head above water Mood

Thursday, May 15, 2008 | A Positive story

Losing that pressure to be something I'm not has been a life-saver this week. After taking Mike with me to the Dr and him promising to refer Dan back to the chest clinic, I went on my own with Dan and he would not refer him. Dan can't breathe lying down, can barely manage the stairs, never manages PE at school, and I know something is very wrong. For a child who has almost died twice, had an enlarged heart, and been on loads of drugs since he was 10 months old he's amazingly positive, but he's very fed up now. I got home and my mum rang me to find out how we got on, and I poured it all out. 1 hour later the practise manager rang to say she had phoned them, and I have been offered a 2nd opinion today. The manager can't understand why his Dr won't refer him. I got home to have Mike's dad, who means well, nagging me to cut down the beautiful big tree in my garden as it's producing huge clouds of yellow pollen. He stood over me while I phoned the tree man, not giving me any time to consider my decision, saying "Well, if you never want your kids to get better.....". Then, even though Mike and I have both told him not to even mention the word "Dentist" to me he gets the yellow pages and insists I phone the dentist as Dan has a chipped tooth and Jonny needs a check up. I have a severe phobia of dentists, and ended up in floods of tears after I'd phoned. He just didn't get it.

So last night I phoned my lovely mum again, and sobbed down the phone at her about my horrible day, the fact that I now have to take Dan for a blood test and a second opinion today, and Ben has a crisis intervention meeting and it's my first Psych appt both Friday morning. I still felt exhausted by the end of the day, but not beaten. I know there are always going to be things going on which I have no control over, but I am getting better at venting to people who love and support me. I didn't have a minute to myself yesterday, as Mike's dad kept bothering me to help him do stuff, like finding bricks in the garden to prop up the water butt, wood filler for the garage door he's painting (the wrong bloody colour!!!!!) and watching the gutter to see if water comes out my end when he pours it in his end. Mike is going to talk to him, as he only does this when I'm alone, and he bullies me.

So the domestic goddess continues in her mission of domestic supremity, bruised but not beaten by daily hassles. Thank you for all your lovely, lovely comments on my journal. I truly believe, like Cheffy said, it's a break through to realise you can still achieve stuff even with the limits of illness. My Dad sent me an email saying he had a solution to the father-in-law problem: bury him in thye boys' bunker at the end of the garden! lol! Tempting.

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Comments

I had a mother in law that was bossy. She controlled everything.While i was pregnant she told me what to eat, what to wear and brainwashed me. I sure am glad i got away from that! Your father inlaw though sounds like hes trying to help you out. Its good that amongst all the stress you feel you can still find a joke in the midst of it all. Thats one of your wonderful qualities.

IonaJ
I'm amazed at what you have to go through to get help for Dan. I'm glad you get a 2nd opinion. Kudos to you for being yourself. I still think you have such an awesome attitude, even when you're feeling down. I agree with Iona that you have the ability to still be able to joke and make people smile. Thanks. Helen

hja
hugs hun xxx

winny
Second opinions are always great...sometimes they offer you alternatives that you were not aware of...it seems that you have a lot of love around you and even that it must be very annoying to have your father in law giving you directions...even him gives you other reasons not to get drowned in a cloud of nerves with the situation you are going through now. Im glad you are being so positive!! and I cant wait to see what this second opinion is...

maggie01ar
I can't believe you had to fight so hard for that second opinion. I agree, something is going on with Dan. Be careful when you bury the body, Hitchcock's "Rear Window" indicates what can happen to such people. I'm glad you're able to maintain humor throughout this, it's my survival mechnism, too

NewView
Update: It seems Dan's GP has been negligent, in that there is NO documentation of his previous hospital admissions, his allergies still haven't been updated, his most recent discharge letter and the Asthma Nurse's report and recommendation have been DELETED from his file!!! We saw the senior partner, and he was fantastic. He believes it could be either a drug issue from his Tourette's meds, poor asthma control, something blood-born, something cardiac or chronic fatigue. He has sent for his hard copy notes, done loads of blood tests and is referring him to a paediatrician. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW RELIEVED I AM!! Plus he said I know him best, and if I believe there's something wrong then that's enough for him. He didn't tell me to send him to school, is going to refer him to an allergist and said he believes the tiredness is genuine and not psychological. Mike's mum came too, and she has worked with him in the past as a physio, which lent strength to our argument. He said he would be having words with Dan's old GP and we are free to transfer to another Dr within the practise. YippEEEEE!

Juice
Im sorry things are so messed up right now! but it will get better i just read the update adn I am glad you found out about his GP! that damn rat! Im glad something is working its self out! How are you now?

sera20
Great that you have realized two important things. There is definitely room for good things to happen within the limits of ilness, and also that you must work within your limitations or it will drive you mad. Society rewards working oneself to death more than just being. If you tried to add school on top of what you are going through with your kids.......DUH! What good would that do anyone? Good for you for taking some of the pressure off yourself and learning to be more present with the truth's of your life!XO!

beiceth
I am so glad you were able to get Dan checked again. I will be praying that allergist quickly identifies the source of the problem so your son can get some real relief, very fast. My son also suffers from unidentified allergies. You did all the right things, and it spends us emotionally. Keep it up....you are making progress. I thank God for mums who get involved..you & your mum.

Nee123
I read your update and that is awesome news.. I cant believe that we trust our drs. and they make mistakes like that..

meandthebeast
Well, good day gone bad gone back to good. I'm sorry it was so full of ... well, shit. But all's well that ends well I guess. I'm so glad you're getting help for yourself as well as kids. You really deserve that!

clutteryermind
Glad taht things are getting better with your kids, I know how stressed you have been with it...you are such a good mum!! LOVE YOU

ChefJess
Sounds great, you are on the right track with your son! I can only imagine what a relief. How very unprofessional and downright negligent of the other Dr. As for you father-in-law....as you become comfortable with your new role as domestic goddess, you wiil one day soon, find the strength and courage to tell him to bug off. I am happy you are on the right path for your life and handling things as they come. Good job!

Nanoe