MamaBearSweeney's Journal

It occurs to me, looking back over my journal entries,  that when there are gaps in my journal, it's been either a really bad space of time or a really good , busy space of time.  I guess like a lot of us we only journal when really necessary.  Similarily for me, research is only done when needed.

And so last night I did look for some answers to the ongoing pain in my arms, and lo and behold, the answer sat there staring back at me from my window into the internet world.  Yep, nerve root pain broadcasting from C5 and C6.  Not the answer I wanted, but better than some I could have read!

Now the problem is.....what to do about it. 

Solution 1.

Go to the doctor.  He tells me he needs xrays.  Go to the hospital.  Get xrays.  Go back to the doctor.  He tells me we need therapy. (not on your life.  Been there, Done that.) Or  he tells me we need epidural injections.  (Oh Boy! Can hardly wait for that !) or he tells me surgery is an option.  (I said after the last back surgery, I'd never do that again unless the pain was so bad I couldn't stand it a minute longer.) And after all the tests and dr. visits, the cost mounts to the national debt!

Solution 2.

Do nothing.  Live with it.  Alter my lifestyle even further than it is now and hope there is no permanent damage done. 

The choices stink!

I already have medical and hospital bills that I can't seem to get paid off now.  Each one wants a part of what I already have too little of now. 

Physical abilities have dwindled down to a trickle in the last 2 years and I've almost adapted to it......ALMOST.  And now further limits???  I've gotten fat from inactivity and limitations.  My thought processes have beecome slow and dull from the meds, FM Fog and aging.  Libido is nearly non exsistant from the meds and inconveniently timed pain. 

Yikes!!!!  I'm getting depressed, just writing about it all.  LOL  :)

But seriously.....what is a person supposed to do?  Example:  Just sitting here typing, there is pain.  ( arthritis pain in my hands, radiating neck and shoulder pain, and foggy thought processes just trying to think of descriptive words to convey my meaning.)  Today is Mr. Bear's day off and he has to drive me shopping, where upon, I'll get tired in a third of the time I did 2 years ago and it will take the rest of the afternoon just to recoup.  In a week, my son is getting married.  We have a 3 hour drive to get there and instead of being all excited about the wedding,  I'm worried about how I'll be able to get thru all the festivities in those 3 days. 

Just food for my thought..........Just venting a little.........Just worried alot.