Back home again.
Managed to get back home again yesturday. Hubby was nasty but at least he didn't kick me out, so I got to …
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I never used to be this way, but I find myself resenting a lot of what I see around me. I notice that I get jealous of people when good things are happening to them. What is that all about? My brother and his wife both have great jobs, and they just redid their kitchen, and I left there thinking, "Must be nice" I just found out that a friend of mine got a job making $16.00 an hour, with no college education, and while I emailed her "Good for you! Congrats!"- I just can't understand this feeling of contempt. I always disliked self pitty, and pesimism, but I started to feel that everything my husband and I attempt is at a huge emtionally and financially draining cost. I am jealous of my coworkers who have kids, and most of all, a lot of the way I feel is about materialistic things! I wish this would go away soon. One minute I'm here trying to be supportive to friends and the next minute I look at the people around me wondering what they did to deserve the things they have. This seems abnormal to me. I don't wish anything bad on ANYBODY, I'm just wondering when its going to be my turn.
That's awful, I just stated the very thing I loathe hearing.
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ITS NOT AWEFUL GIRL . ITS JUST THAT WE FEEL WE ARE MISSING SOMETHING IN OUR LIVES THAT WE DESERVE AND WE DO DESERVE IT . WE TEND TO LOOK DOWN ON PPL FOR HAVING WHAT THEY WANT WITH NO PROBLEMS. ITS JUST PART OF THE INFERTILITY ROLLERCOASTER I GUESS. I HATE FEELING THAT WAY BUT I DO WHEN I SEE PREGNANT WOMEN TOO. AND ESPECIALLY WOMEN THAT DONT EVEN WANT KIDS AT ALL.
scarlet101
don't we always want what everybody else has I think that is normal it's that always wanting more syndrome or that saying you always want what you can't have . Try and tell yourself everything worth having is worth working for and waiting for .When I was trying to get pregnant I had myself in such a state it was making it harder to get pregnant I found when I just relaxed and let life happen it finally happened . Try and focus on the good things in your life we are all blessed with many things we just need to sit down and think about take a piece of paper and write down what you have been blessed with you will be amazed that is what I do when I am feeling sorry for myself .Example we have a house ,love of a husband and family even little things such as clean running water . Let me know if you try this and how you make out good luck I will be thinking of you .X0X0
luv