angelmate’s Profile
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About Me
My name is Maria, I am 44yr, s I have been trying to deal with chronic pain for nearly 20yr, s, I am registered disabled, Before my health went, I was a nurse until i met my husband, I am passionate about fighting the so called medical professinol, s who think they know your body better than you! I have been married for 22yr, s, Despite being told i could never have children, I have a son who is now 19yr, s and who is a mechanic for a well known car company??
Interests
I love angel, s, in fact i, m crazy about them!! Love having a good old fashioned moan and then onto a good laugh, love watching comedy film, s also love mario Lanza??? I love hearing from like minded people, i like reading autobiogrpy, s on interesting people, anything to do with medium, s
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Hugbook
Hug
hi callum..i dk if u ever get on here anymore..i dk..this i am sarah or imissudad07..i really really hope u r ok callum..u were one of my best maes on here then u just left..i dk.. i miss r talks..i cant believe i stumbled upon this..im always praying 4 u and ur dad..i dk callum..i hope ur ok..love sarah
I’m With You
good morning!...hoping today finds you with low-level pain,..and that all is well with you!...sending gentle hugs, and many prayers,....love ya!....weezie
Hug
Hugs & prayers sent lovingly your way. Be assured that no matter how busy, sick, or doing the work I must do to keep up the hermitage & our dear pets, that I keep you very close to my heart in prayer! God loves you & so do I...Sr. MM
Flower
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Hug
Hi There, just thought I would pop by and see if your doing okay. I know this weekend and Mother's Day will be very hard and I wanted you to know that you have people here that care about you and are willing to help get you through this. Take Care, Callum. Help your Dad. Love and Hugs.
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Photos
angelmate hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Chronic Pain
Hi, I know exactly how you feel i,m on M.S.T 100mg 3xdayplus oralmorph every four hour,s,as you have pointed out it doesn,t alway,s work,i have a great pain doc but sometimes feel like i,m bangingmy head of a wall,I,m determined not to give in,you name the treatment i,ve tried it,i,m so desperate now i,d do anything i,ve been in severe chronic pain for over 20yr,s know all to well how you feel,good luck
Treatments
- TENS Working / Worked
- To me about as useful as a chocolate fireguard,more like yet another Ten,s did.nt notice any change if anything felt worse had treatment monday have had headache since
- Elavil Not Working
- I.m on amiltriptrline and it,s really not helping,i,ve been on it before it worked then but sadly not anymore
- Chiropractic Adjustment Not Working
- I saw a chiropractic doctor, who tried but he gave in,as he put it,your bone,s and muscle,s cannot be helped by me!My friend who has chronic back problem,s felt alot better after her second appointment.If the chiroprator had seen me sooner he could have saved me the pain i,m constantly in now.
Close Sexual Abuse
Two week,s after my sister died my so called uncle (he was my dad,s best mate i grew up with his daughter,s!)decided i would be his play thing! the strange thing is i never realised til the abuse started what he meant!i was twelve when he started to help himself to me,He did,nt like girl,s he prefered boy,s not only was i raped at the front he loved to get off hurting me,I would,nt call him an animal coz that,s an insult to animal,s,That a---H---! loved to see me in pain so he buggered me!
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- When i first went to see the "shrink" i was supposed to be going for my pain but ended up after nearly a year into my thearpy telling them my dirty sordid secret.
Open Urinary Incontinence
I lived with urinary incontinece all my life my father took me to soo many doctor,s who informed him i was lazy!so every time i had an accident i was in big trouble! (little was known then about this problem)i am now 44yr,s and after undergoing urodynamic study,s and in and out of hospitals with chronic urine and renal infection,s the doctor,s started to take interest in me i have tried some many treatment,s over the year,s sadly to no avail,in jan of this year i had my bladder taken out.
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have suffered from chronic depression since my sister died in 1975 i was not allowed to say goodbye also suffer chronic pain due to accident and renal problem,s
Treatments
- Prozac Not Working
- had bad side effect,s made me very angry and suicidle
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- i,m still in therapy trying to deal with sexual abuse, chronic pain suffer from suicidal thought,s also trying to after 32 year,s deal with the death of my beloved sister
- Elavil Working / Worked
- Just been put back on med,s after two year,s without,Right now i feel very very lonely
Open Self-Injury
I have been self harming for just over 10yr,s partly because i,m in chronic severe pain and partly because of depression,i see the mental health team but they don,t understand the emotion that drive,s you to this state!most of them can,t even begin to understand why you cut up, the,re also in my eye,s very patronising!
Treatments
- Talking Not Working
- It did,nt work with the shrink,s and it,s something private to me,I cut up when life is getting really tough it release,s my bad nightmare,s
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingMy sister caroline died in 1975, at the age of 14yr,s,she caught menigitus at 3 month,s and developed a leaky mitral valve in her heart, My sis spent all her short life in and out of hospital,s,until one day while my dad was away in the army she took ill again,and we thought she,d go in and be out again within a week, but one day she didn,t come home,I wasen,t even allowed to say goodbye yet i was the one closest to her,even now after nearly 32yr,s it still seem,s like yesterday,It still hurts
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- I still cry for my sister even after nearly 32 year,s,i miss the sister who was my rock, someone i wanted to be,I,m crying now,but i,m good at hiding it.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- They just kept telling me to let go,but i can,t,all i get is a picture in my head of when i last saw my sis,
- Prayer Not Working
- My prayer,s were not enough,god took her anyway,so no prayer,s didn,t help me.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have seen so many shrink,s and it,s alway,s the same old story,"you gotta let go" easier said than done i wasen,t even allowed to say goodbye.
- Crying Not Working
- I still cry for my sister even after nearly 32 year,s,i miss the sister who was my rock, someone i wanted to be,I,m crying now,but i,m good at hiding it.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- They just kept telling me to let go,but i can,t,all i get is a picture in my head of when i last saw my sis,
- Prayer Not Working
- My prayer,s were not enough,god took her anyway,so no prayer,s didn,t help me.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have seen so many shrink,s and it,s alway,s the same old story,"you gotta let go" easier said than done i wasen,t even allowed to say goodbye.
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingMy sister caroline died in 1975, at the age of 14yr,s,she caught menigitus at 3 month,s and developed a leaky mitral valve in her heart, My sis spent all her short life in and out of hospital,s,until one day while my dad was away in the army she took ill again,and we thought she,d go in and be out again within a week, but one day she didn,t come home,I wasen,t even allowed to say goodbye yet i was the one closest to her,even now after nearly 32yr,s it still seem,s like yesterday,It still hurts
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- I still cry for my sister even after nearly 32 year,s,i miss the sister who was my rock, someone i wanted to be,I,m crying now,but i,m good at hiding it.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- They just kept telling me to let go,but i can,t,all i get is a picture in my head of when i last saw my sis,
- Prayer Not Working
- My prayer,s were not enough,god took her anyway,so no prayer,s didn,t help me.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have seen so many shrink,s and it,s alway,s the same old story,"you gotta let go" easier said than done i wasen,t even allowed to say goodbye.
- Crying Not Working
- I still cry for my sister even after nearly 32 year,s,i miss the sister who was my rock, someone i wanted to be,I,m crying now,but i,m good at hiding it.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- They just kept telling me to let go,but i can,t,all i get is a picture in my head of when i last saw my sis,
- Prayer Not Working
- My prayer,s were not enough,god took her anyway,so no prayer,s didn,t help me.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have seen so many shrink,s and it,s alway,s the same old story,"you gotta let go" easier said than done i wasen,t even allowed to say goodbye.
Open Bipolar Disorder
My girl friend,has recently been diagnosed with this condition,The problem is last year before christmas she had a chrisis and she was alone,{this is mum,s account but she,s not too great at the moment}with my mum,she has ruined two christmas,s my mum used to be a nurse but rach,screamed in mum,s face and mum vowed never to let rach in our house ever again,mum think,s rach and i are just friend,s,she doesn,t know we,re back together,please can someone help me? callum
Open Transgender
One of my very special friend,s "Jamie" is transgender,she has been to hell and back and was worried about people,s reaction,s,truth is she was just born in the wrong body,sadly she had to undergo load,s of councerling,luckly she managed to get through it all and in sept 05, she finally came from being a unhappy suicidle person to a witty intellergent woman who is happy than she was before she now has a boyfriend who know,s her history,but doesn,t care what other,s think,i,m proud of her.
Open Hysterectomy
I had a total hysterectomy when i was 27yr,s i had the "biggy" the doctor thought i was just being a pain to him,in the end i collapsed,i was rushed in and they found cancer aka biggy i had emergancy surgery sadly they took everything,i too hoped i,d have more children,i have one but i sometime,s weep for the sibling,s he could have had,
Treatments
- Premarin Somewhat Helpful
- I alway,s know when i need a new implant,i get bad side effect,s like night sweat,s dryness down below!! and very moody!!it,s usually my son or husband who notice it before i do,i tried patches and pill,s sadly couldn,t take em i got a severe reaction with the patch and i got bad cramp,s in my stomach,not nice!!!
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